Penny for your thoughts.
Penny for my thoughts.
Penny to change my thoughts.
Penny to stop my thoughts.
But thoughts don’t stop.
And change takes time.
So your thoughts for mine.
We’ll change them over time.
No pennies needed.

Supple. Soft.
Bare it. Bare it now.
Tougher. Harder.
That won’t do. Move up.
Seamless. Untouched.
Grab it. Pull it.
Is it ready?
Inspecting for impurities
That will ruin this rare experience.
Drag it. Rip it. Tear it.
But no.
This time it glides.
Smooth. Effortless.
Over. And Over.
So fast.
Grinning wide.
Insides now outsides.
Spillages for someone else to clean.

I am tired.
“Lol, Same.”
I am sad.
“Lol, Same.”
I am depressed.
“Lol, Same.”
I want to die.
“Lol, Same.”
My life seems pointless.
“Lol, Same.”
I literally wish I was never born.
“Lol, Same.”
My existence feels like a never ending downfall, countless pain and misery.
“Lol, Same.”
I’m going to **** myself.
“Lol, same.”

“May they now rest in peace.”
“Why didn’t they say anything?”

Don’t be scared to let go.
I’d rather something real,
Then something so forced.
Don’t worry about how I’ll feel.
Don’t be scared Scared to let go,
I’d rather you be happy,
Then stuck here with me.
It would hurt more to know I made you feel ******.

I am terrified.
I am terrified.
I am complete and utterly terrified.

The fine china that is my heart
Can disintegrate at just one word.
Will you hold it gently,
Or toss it to the curb?

Sometimes I regret ever giving it to you,
Was it worth the risk?
I wouldn’t take it back, though,
I loved it when we kissed.

It scares me so much I know how much
I get hurt at the simplest of words,
Never mind losing someone like you,
It would feel like the end of the world.

I know I sound so stupid
You just mean so much to me already.
I fall so fast and hard, especially
For a girl with a heart this unstable.

Walls are attractive.
Walls are so ******* attractive.
I want to smash my ******* head against a wall.
What a ******* stupid fat ****.
See a ******* wall?
That wall.
The wall.
That’s where your ******* heads going.
Over and over and OVER.
Crimson red walls.
Concussion red walls.
Death painted walls.
******* die.
You stupid f-
Oh sorry, I saw a wall, where were we?

You hate me.
Even if you don’t yet, you will.
I can feel the hate brewing.
Impending, ready to spill.

It kills me knowing even if you do love me,
One day you’ll grow tired, get bored.
I’m nothing special and soon you’ll see,
It’s just a **** head you thought you adored.

I can feel all the hate.
I feel so alone.
It’s burning through my body.
It’s breaking all my bones.

You hate me.
You just don’t know it yet.
But I do.
I. Do.