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Jay Jan 2015
I used to wait for Peter Pan by my window
Now I'm in high school and its all ****** innuendos
White lies about cookie jars
turned into police rides behind bars
And friendships that were made with such ease
fall apart and fly away with the breeze
the breeze that is supposed to caress your skin
Like a boy's hand whose heart you thought you'd win
But you're there picking up shattered remains
Of the heart you gave away to gain...
But you lose everything when you grow up
And all the sudden you have no luck
Your days of running and being free
Are replaced and you don't know what to be
You've lost all your innocence
in what seems like merely minutes...
Years fly by and your left cold
And you can't even picture the days you'll grow old
Because with you're life falling apart
and all you have left is your broken heart
you see yourself ending it now
taking one last final bow
on this stage of life you're only in act one...
and you have people telling you to hold on
WAIT...
So you do
and you'll see, its true
Those small things you hold onto
like when you saw peter pan and he flew
and you remember childhood and those small things
and hope one day to see and ring
from a new man to love
who was sent from above
and a friend you find
it all just takes time...
Time to heal the wounds you have
time to let yourself feel sad...
And peter pan can't save you now
but that doesn't mean you take a bow..
Your final act has not come
you don't get to decide, fate does.
Its hard, I know, to see
but please take it from me
Those small things count
Even in such small amounts
And time does hurt
but theres so much worth
And soon you will see your life will be
so much better than you could've dreamed.
So don't listen to the boy
who stroked your cheek and acted coy
who broke your heart
and tore you apart
and left you there to cry
It doesn't mean they all lie.
And do not let the girl
who said you had the world
make you think that you do not
when she leaves an empty spot
in your life. You will realize
that not everyone can compromise
and that not everyone is ready to grow up
people make mistakes, become corrupt
Friends will leave loves will cease
and you will be left on your knees
praying for some kind of change
asking why things can't be the same
as when you were a child
and problems were mild
But you're growing up, now entering adulthood
and you keep wonder if it would
be different had you said no to that coy boy
or that friend who used you like a toy
abused you like children do
but you will become brand new
when you find who you are
you'll see you've come far
from the child in the window wishing
and the teenager missing.
Life gets better I promise.
Believe me because I'm honest
in the way things are now
as scared as you are how
things will get better,
doesn't matter the weather
the storm will pass
and in its wrath
it will change and define you
you have no clue
how you will find
that in time
the wounds will heal
and you will feel
alive.. finally alive
You will survive.
I am not the little girl waiting
I am now the young woman chasing
her dreams and goals
and breaks all the rules
and found herself
despite how she felt
when she was weak
and saw defeat.
Now I'm ok
and I see the way
to live and be
and you will see
I'm right
don't fight
youself...
It'll be ok,
I'll show you the way...
Away from dreams of your childhood
and hoping and wishing people were good
The past is gone
and I'm not wrong
I swear you'll see
what you can  be..
Work through the pain
accept the gain
It's not the end
You DO have friends
Walk away from the window little girl
Come and see the world.
I've never really written and poem that rhymes, its not my thing because I always fell ironically childish doing so. But I hope yall enjoy. Let me know.
Jay May 2014
Maybe we should sympathize
with the tiny waisted girls
that cake their face with a layer of colorful protection
that wear jeans tighter than the sealed bottle of meds
they take to stay skinny.

They cheat their way to the idea of beauty its true.
Pills to take away the fat,
painting their face to attract the opposite ***.
Cloths that might as well be a thinner second layer of skin.

Its disgusting, what we consider beautiful
It's sad that girls aspire to achieve it.
Its sad that some do.

I envy maybe, their happiness, but
what if its not real?
What if secretly they feel as we do
the "average" crowd they are "forced" to coexist with

I do wonder, but then and ice cold snarl
from perfect straight white teeth hits me in the face
burns my retina and forces me give an equally evil shot from my
painfully normal features.

And I am reminded of the god awful truth.
They do not wonder what we think,
as if we were a separate species,
they look more alien than we.

God made man in his image
and I'm almost positive
he didn't look like plastic.

They desire to look like the air brushed figures seen in magazines
Something only wishes can achieve.
Something only paper thin models on paper can look like.
Something only a computer can achieve.

Its sad.
I do not envy them.
Jay May 2014
Her
I want the flames of her bright red hair to swallow her
I want the dimples on her cheeks to sink in and melt away her fake *** smile
I want her to disappear and never return.

Because at one point,
she held your heart in her hands
and in her tiny brain she stills does.

I want  karma to hit her as hard as I want to
I want every person she's wronged to put her on trial
If being an awful human being was a crime
She'd have a double life sentence

I do not hate often, but when someone is so selfish
they cannot see
cannot feel
do not care,
about another human beings personal
struggles
pain
heartache
dreams
I will not tolerate it.

You said your heart was mine
You promised beyond forever with me

And yet there you are, being her best friend
And the next day her worst enemy

All she has ever done to you is
lie
cheat
hurt
you, my love

And yet you hold some kind of twisted love for her
in the corner of your heart.

Why am I not enough huh?
Why can't my eternal devotion, immense pride, irrevocable love
deter you from the path to her
the path to hell...

You are with me and yet talking to her holds some kind of priority,
why?

I will never understand how in the beginning we were perfect
And how I never thought there would be an end.

Because of her we are broken,
without her we are stronger than diamond,
arguments cannot penetrate us
but with her, we are fragile wet tissue paper,
turning to pulp in her devious hands.

Cut the ties you have between her
Or lose me forever.

Its your choice.
Jay May 2014
You're calling my name
it sounds like it always does
laced with anger and disrespect.

Asking for me to go here
there
Do this or do
that.

What will you do without me?
When I've gone to the real world,
When you don't have a choice but to
let me
grow up
leave
succeed

Others disagree with how I'm treated
a slave to tasks you don't need me to do
a child without a childhood
an adult without freedom

I will never be a true child
I am forced to be a fake adult

Leave me be
Can't I do something
anything
for myself without my name escaping your lips
for what?

A meaningless task that can be accomplished by your own hands.

What will you do when I am grown?
When the law does not bind me to this house
Where your guilt trips can't strangle me
Your guidance cannot confuses me?

Your tasks make me resentful

I do not want to feel this way
I do not want to hold these feeling
Harbor them in the sea of emotions I already have

What will you do when I can no longer be you little girl?
I cannot sit on your lap
You cannot get me out of trouble
I am rapidly entering adulthood

Is that what scares you?
My definite departure from your arms?
My impending leave of absence?

I will always be your daughter.
I will always be part of you.
You cannot hold on forever.
But I will always love you.

What will you do when I am no longer a young adult?
When I have a family of my own?

Will you always try to treat me like this?
Or will leaving be the antidote...

What will you do, when I am no longer yours to guide?

I know what I will do.
First poem, my future is flying at me fast and some people cannot handle that.

— The End —