I want to **** for no other reason
But I am bored,
The thought goes through my mind,
Would I be
Excited,
Scared,
Or more.
Would I find that it starts a trend,
Where one turns to two,
Then like an addiction
It takes hold.
I could try different ways to find my style,
To **** them quick or to find pleasure,
In there eyes as they suffer
Pleaded,
For release
Then I hurt them ever so slowly more.
Could I,
Would I,
It must be in everyone's thought
To do it just once,
You know you have thought it,
For all I know you have done the deed,
But not of your fancy,
Fun the first time the power over others,
But you knew this would lead to more.
We all do day dream of people
We wished buried,
For our own reasons,
This will never move forward.
But know that there is a killer
In each and everyone of us,
Young,
Old,
Each has that thirst once in there life,
Its only if you let it take hold.
But I, you will not succumb to this desire,
I no I mustn't,
Because after one scream,
One ****,
You know I'll, you'll give in
To the ecstasy of the first ****.

I'm going, going gone,
My mind just left the room
Where the hell has my senses gone,
I see things different than before
My head screams out,
So many voices, before there was me
Now each shouting,
Different, like a separate person
Knocking loudly on my minds door
Mayo,
Ketchup,
Brown sauce,
Not what I see anymore,
*****,
Blood,
Feces,
I feel like crying, do I see loved ones
Not anymore, Flesh bags
Just meat on the bone,
I cant handle this anymore, I'm losing it
lost it, how far can  I fall.
My eyes  a window to my soul,
Its cracking soon to shatter where do I go
My mind is my hiding place, but compromised
Your losing our mind,
Which one said that, which voice uses my voice
I have to get a grip shut each voice
Behind a door,
lock it,
Throw away the key
Let only my voice be the one heard only,
It took time, but I sealed the cracks
I started to see things as I once did before.
Calm for know, I must keep my mind in  control,
Or next time it may be lost
I'll be the one lost the others in control.

We look for the glimmer of hope
Some are looking for it still
They find it very hard to cope
Stripped of their own will

We sometimes face ourselves
Rising up, only to fall
Life is like keeping empty shelves
Talking to the shadows on the wall

Life really makes no sense
We try to figure it all out
Paying for it at our own expense
Never heard when we shout

Loneliness can be a curse
When no one heeds our call
Never getting better, only worse
Left talking to the shadows on the wall

You put a bullet in to my skull
You loaded the pen fired,
It blackened my hair
Pieced my skull,
Exploded in my mind,
Ink bled from my mouth
It landed on the paper below,
Became words,
It would fall in droplets,
A crime if not put in to word.
You shot two more times,
I shuddered under the onslaught
Verbs, pronouns, syllabus,
Ink,
Lead,
Shreds of written words,
Expelled from my
Ears,
Nose,
Mouth,
You had shot me, penetrated my mind
so violent, in need of rest,
For now the droplets had stopped
The paper was dry
Ink had bled from me to make word,
Three times to the back of the head.