I keep
Telling myself I'm done,
I'm not going to do this anymore
It's a waste of time, waste of energy;
It doesn't feel good; I should stop;
I can stop; I will stop; and
Then I don’t

We have a flower!
A cute, scraggly, little flower
Delicate, white petals unfurling
Over a yellow-dusted center
Future strawberry
Hope
Our little garden
Might yield some
This
Year

You are fifteen, feeling unloved and unseen; aching for wild romance as curated on screen. It's not your fault, you’ve been told it's your right - you deserve love at first sight, swept away by a jedi knight, with your ample hair shining rainbow bright - of course reason takes flight when confronted with the fantasy of love.

Although you should know, over your lifetime, again and again, love will come or love will grow. It may take time before it shows, it’s never owed and hard to sow but you will find love or love will find you.

At times you will curse love - when it comes for you it won’t be denied; you can try to save your pride, set love aside, maybe chase it away with truth or with lies, but you can never hide. Love won’t let you be rid of it at your own will; you can say that you're out but still it will pull you in until love is fulfilled or love is killed....

But you are fifteen, feeling unloved and unseen, and I want you to know, as I wish I had known, love is a wildcard. When you want love too bad, you’ll try way too hard, you’ll lose your perspective, settling for pyrite stars who find you easy to discard; no matter how much you stay on guard, you’ll end up disappointed and scarred...

And that is ok, you will learn and you will burn; you will get stronger and smarter, you’ll know when to give up and when to try harder. You’ll discover your awesome self - and that is a true gift - when you know what makes you happy, what gives you a lift, what helps you grow, what makes you crazy; someday you’ll know you are loved

When you’re running downhill
with a course to beat
or a place to be,
when you don’t have time
to fight gravity,
you let go, giving in
to joyous velocity...

Lean into the incline,
falling forward into time;
catch yourself strategically,
again and again,
on soft ankles and soft knees...

Watch your steps,
watch your speed;
take what you can handle,
not necessarily what you need...

If you can, if it feels right,
lean forward even more,
feel the adrenaline roar...

You are a force to be seen,
feel the world rushing by
your calculated careen...

Celebrate when
you’ve conquered the incline,
taking acquired momentum
and stolen time;
thank the universe
for the thrill of speed sublime
and then,
on to the next challenge...

Some poems seize love effortlessly… the little ones, inconsequential, cheery and bright, the ones that take flight without much incentive; at times more homage than inventive; the ones sweet and light, easy to chew, they make you feel good before passing right through; they won’t get under your skin, they won’t make you itch; they won’t make any waves but they hope to bewitch…

Some poems are harder to love... the difficult ones, different and new; the ones that were hard to consume, bitter, broken or tough to get through; the ugly ones that might be true; the ones that demanded blood, that broke hearts and poured salt in open wounds; they won’t lift you up, they won’t dry your tears; far too sincere, they feed on your fears… they’re hard to love, like, let out or let go, but sometimes those are the poems we need to know

NCL June 2019

When we arrived, young, blinded by stars in our eyes and endless city lights multiplied in the skies and in our hearts, we had hope.

Time passed without permission, marked by changing city landscapes as seasons raced by, and our love flourished, claiming the heartbeat of the city for its own; believing the promises of the ocean and the mountains and nature invading urban spaces. Our family grew, by one, and then two; seasons of eternal showers imprinting their cadence on our souls, we felt hope.

Now, the city that we love cannot love us back - it was laundered and sold by leaders less truthful than bold - we can't afford to grow old together here. We are drowning, struggling to stay afloat in a city owned by distant millionaires. Some days, it can be hard to find hope.

Before it's too late, I think we should go; leave behind these beautiful mountains, take the city skylines etched on our bones, and find a new place to watch our love grow. We still have dreams - our hope can't be sold - we’ll take them on the road with the memories we hold, when we go. We have hope.

NCL 2019

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang

If tomorrow is a big day with many things to do, here is your warning:
Read this book before bed and you’ll be reading it well into the morning

Esme, or My, is kind and clever, endlessly loyal and terrible at deceit
Khai is a complicated genius, steadfast and achingly, unknowingly sweet

Esme is determined to find a better life for the family she temporarily left behind
Khai is earning future freedom from set ups his mom can’t help but mastermind

A few scenes might make you blush - brilliant and perfect for this story
Bring lots of tissues, no reading on transit - this book is an absolute glory

Sometimes I need to see the ocean
Taste the salt air and feel the motion
Of the waves and the wind
And the world spinning round
When the chaos is too much
The ocean’s where I’ll be found

If I could take a magic potion
Cast a spell or give devotion
Granted any of the powers
That may possibly be
I would quite ecstatically
Transform to a bird of the sea

Dawn snuck ahead
leaving trails of
rainbow dewdrops ablaze

Magic and nature
Exist fearlessly, complemented
by avian soundscape

Solitude hangs softly
temporarily suspending time
and its obligations

Stride after stride
breath after breath
unwinds busy minds

Nature, contemplation accepted
ready to embrace
the new day

Our bubbles danced, dipped and dodged
Over the field of wildflowers
Wondrous, magic, rainbow orbs
We could chase and pop them for hours

We like our bubbles massive
Hopelessly trundling around
We like our bubbles tiny
Spinning circles as they surround

She hunts them through the park
She races across the field
I guard the bubble potion
With the bubble wand I wield

We stay until we’re tired
Or the bubbles are all done
Then leave the park contently
After bubble magic fun

Say goodbye to that life
To the person you used to be
The darkness doesn't need you anymore

Channel the feelings keeping you down
Helplessness, sadness, shame
Turn it to anger
It is your fuel
Now you can light the flame

You are a Phoenix
This isn't your end
This is a new beginning
Out of the ashes
Of the life you despise  
With freedom
With joy
You rise