If I could be He,
I'd grin ear to ear.
I'd laugh with a new voice,
and sing with boisterous cheer.

If I could be He,
I'd dance the night away.
I'd twirl around a girl,
and ask her if she'd stay.

If I could be He,
I'd no longer have to bind.
I'd lay shirtless on the beach,
and leave bottled messages to find.

If I could be He,
which I might never be,
I'd be eternally happy.
And I'd finally be me.

There is a boy in my closet
The boy is friendly but stays hidden
When I look in the mirror there he is
I became jealous of who he is
He says he wants to come out  
I decided to ignore it
But the curiosity grew bit by bit
Until I could barely stand it
"CUT YOUR HAIR"
But when I went downstairs my unapproving mother stood there
The boy wasn’t at ease with what our plan began to be
Because in reality, the boy was really me
But all people can see is she
That part wasn’t cut out for me
I don’t understand the big deal if I'm a he

Her love is like a sweet poison that I willingly consume.
My time with her is a beautiful misery that I endure.
To escape her is unthinkable as I am addicted to the heavenly suffering she has rewarded me with.

Pictures can only hold so much
It doesn't mask the difference from a kid to a man,
From aggressive behavior to tame
Nor does it show my inability, and pain.
Looking at him then
Shows immaturity and lack of awareness.
Bound to heavy weight of trauma and insecurity.
Yet not seen resolved
Only to make more involved.
He was and if not
As bad as the one who cut his throat so deep
He couldn't find himself enough to speak.
He would then damage others who never deserved the baggage.