There isn't much organization in this newfound structure
The world is misplaced out of its regular orbit.
Sun shines a little less, stars are hidden behind clouds.
My depth perception is perplexed when stepping foot outside.
Intensity blinds my field of vision with saturated apricot
Eyelids squeezing trying to bare the unfamiliarity.
Forced inside for over four weeks,
Air is danger, people a risk.
Unable to roam the streets without protection
Sneeze or cough get berated.
Immunodeficient deserve to be taken seriously
Those at risk aware of the familiarity.
Not the first time around a government fails to protect the health And wellness of those who need it most.
Patience and the discipline to stay at home
May enable freedom and coherence
In a time where you're quarantined within your own thoughts.

I am summoned into court
The month of September
Being transgender is the trial to be fought
The jury doesn't know how to handle the situation
And nothing is fought

I am summoned months later
The year of 2016
Being transgender is why I'm there
The jury hasn't overcame their pain
And no solution to the chain

Years later I am summoned to court
A stage in my life I couldn't ever see
Being transgender is the reason
The jury has come to an agreement
That it's okay to ease in

Uninspired empty and blank
Not satisfied
Creativity is miles away
Where is my hope
My energy my love
Where did it go?

Exhaustion expiration and fatigue
Burn out
Numbness is so close
Where did it get lost in the wind
My energy my love
My passion to pick up a pencil
Draw my hearts content out
Where did it go?

Material possessions
To replace your warmth
You buy me everything
When I just want your heart

It's 4am but you're not sleeping.
Your friends went out, but you stayed in.. Again.
The lights are off, but it feels much darker.
Your mind is screaming you're a coward.

inner battles
declare war
strike me
powerful bullets
push me
to dirt
grab me
talk to me
torture consumes
unable to
rest silently

body restive
can’t forget
in dreams
in thought
in heart

torture consumes
until defeat
giving into
the demand