past in time
too unaware
before looking
down on
myself

now in time
crystal clear
bias unbound
conclusions come
I’m faulty
of something I
could correct

self reflection
to be aware
keeps me
up at night
playing back
events in time
I could’ve
done right

running in the hallway of memory
pictures mounted on the walls
bright smiles and entranced fidelity
evolved into nowhere to turn

anxiety refreshes the past
from musical pieces once treasured by a passion so strong
I believed so unbreakable
would later prove me a fool

septic jealously
tangled grabbing
dry eyes and painful tears
destructive wounds
unhealthy affinity
would result in an addiction of abuse

too early to understand
denial and anxiety befriended me
I refused the truth
forgive me that I refused what was better for the both of the us
feeling regret I didn’t take action sooner
too late to change havoc being dealt

three years ahead in time
I wonder where you are
do you still think of me?
after all I’ve caused?
or do you not?
questions roam from time to time
I wonder if yours do too

together we are not innocent in a court of law
both criminals that have been charged
with a love so dangerous
needing to repent

do you remember?
the songs? the touch?
my lips?
our intolerable dependency?

I’m reaching out to you
in vast space of once was
tears once cried
tell their own story

We'll become adults
when
we
accept
the timing
of the
universe
without
trying
to
understand it.

You see the slump in my shoulders
the way I carry myself
the burdens of boulders
that threaten my health.

When you ask what's wrong
I pull up my guard
don't want your pity or sad song
won't tell you why life's hard.

So if you want to know
I'll bottle it inside
wrap up all remains in a black bow
and tell you I'm fine.