With every song, it seems, today
I'm dragged, while kicking and screaming, through time.
Slipping between every crack in dimensions,
Feeling the slap and the burn of each rhyme.
Almost nostalgic, but colder.
When goosebumps had formed, it all became clear.
In days long passed, you had shown me these songs
That steal my mind whilst my body's stuck here.

It has turned to autumn now
But that's not what I see.
Where the leaves are brown and red
Is black and white to me.

Yes, the frost as gripped the air
As summer bids adieu,
But I was cold in mid July
So tell me what is new?

Soon the lakes will glaze with ice
That's carried in the breath
Of the autumns genesis;
Exhaling gelid death.

So, another season comes
Another season goes.
All that's dead remains as such
And all that's living grows.
All that's cold in self and touch
Will some day decompose.

Well, that's it, my brain is now rotten.
Lost in its fungus are feelings, forgotten.
A spur may occur, on a scarce blue moon,
Of energy telling me I'm back in tune,
But really it's vacant and harsh little lies.
Synapses shooting a brain as it dies.
Misery fruiting on mould colonised
From grey matter, shattered behind fading eyes.
Now just a hollow man, left with no bang,
Merely a whimper with such little whim.
Watching as slowly the old me is lost
While filling the blanks with a bad pseudonym
And sealing them over with mushrooms and liquor,
Though quicker and quicker the struggle gets bigger.
Sick and then sicker, from fluid to rigour.
Stuck in the mould, now forever disfigured.

Many hundred aeons travelled,
Over many days.
Though I know, with certainty,
Just where all my love stays.
Like a bee to pollen, it is
Instinct, finding you,
As, if somewhere else it went,
All life would turn askew.
So give me all your nectar and
The usual clichés.
Pollinate, repopulate,
Until the end of days.
I promise not to sting you
If you promise not to *****,
For when it comes to both our love
No honey is as thick.

Bodies are strewn, one by one, round the room.
All that remains of the casualties here.
All of the victims, perverts and vixens,
Which fell to their instincts, desires and beer.
Recently music had filled air with rhythm,
Masking the retching and ******* the same,
Though rising with sun was the silence, begun
As horizons were setting to flame.

Wading through bodies to go make a drink,
A 6am ***** to freshen the mind.
You scramble and struggle, ignoring the couple
You caught in the kitchen, enjoying a grind.
A smile and a wave, with such sweetness, they gave
And, kindly, they offered some cider.
Approaching the man, you take a warm can
Whilst hoping its not been inside her.

Back to the sofa, a girl has rolled over,
Aeons from sober, you try nudge below her,
Quickly, then slower, with hopes no one knows her,
The types to come over assuming you'll ***** her.
But everything's fine, the coast is all clear.
You soon commandeer, till she falls among beer.
***** turns to smears, but too ****** to hear
Or try interfere, the room sleeps, cohered.

The wait is now on. The coke in your nose
Beginning to burn as you drool on your clothes.
You smoke and you smoke while you cough and you choke,
But it seems with each minute, the time passing slows.
You wack out a notepad, scribble some words,
Draw a few ***** with wings like a bird,
But mostly you sit. Sitting in quiet.
The last one alive in the midst of the riot.

In silence and heartache,
The air has turned dire.
Our smiles were combusted
By miseries fire.
Its smoke has enclosed us
Within our own sphere,
Though soon you'll be leaving.
Leaving me here.

For long I'd accustomed
To being alone.
No need for direction.
No need for a home.
But one day you found me,
Your hands full of love,
And lips full of comfort
Which smiled just above.

Now loneliness taunts me
Whenever you go.
You take with you more than
You ever could know.
My happiness follows,
Forever it's yours.
In silence and heartache,
In rises and falls.

As someone as pervy as I am,
Never did it come to mind
That ***’s allure
Can be murky, impure
And to some degree, best left behind.

As a depressed individual,
I’d never thought it could be
That I would become
So disgusted and numb
By the wonderful drug; ecstasy.

But furthermore, music, I miss you.
Once you were more than just racket.
So, surf rock, I plea,
Won’t you please unleash me?
I’ll ride on your waves till you hack it.

These, I had thought, were in nature
The typical things we enjoy.
Euphoric, complete,
With a strong rhythmic beat,
And the feeling of girls, or of boys.

Though cravings for these are all vacant.
No ***, meds and no poetry.
A sensation drought,
From searing to burnout.
A ghost of a long deceased me.