As someone as pervy as I am,
Never did it come to mind
That ***’s allure
Can be murky, impure
And to some degree, best left behind.

As a depressed individual,
I’d never thought it could be
That I would become
So disgusted and numb
By the wonderful drug; ecstasy.

But furthermore, music, I miss you.
Once you were more than just racket.
So, surf rock, I plea,
Won’t you please unleash me?
I’ll ride on your waves till you hack it.

These, I had thought, were in nature
The typical things we enjoy.
Euphoric, complete,
With a strong rhythmic beat,
And the feeling of girls, or of boys.

Though cravings for these are all vacant.
No ***, meds and no poetry.
A sensation drought,
From searing to burnout.
A ghost of a long deceased me.

I have put myself through hell,
And, God forbid, my mind as well.
The drugs and *****,
The ‘What’s to lose?’
Reductive, simple attitudes.

I can say though, with no doubt,
Regardless of the ***** I spout,
Admiration,
Adoration,
No drug beats infatuation.

So, to her, I’ve one request.
For me to put my mind to rest,
To clear desire
I must try her,
God knows she will get me higher.

She’ll steal the heart you thought had died
And breathe her life into your soul.
A soul that you had never found,
But not without you having tried.

She’ll trace her fingers on your skin
And wear away into your pores
Until within your blood she is,
To overdose adrenaline.

She sinks her teeth, expands her eye.
Encapsulating childish grin
Of innocence and sin intense.
She captures all that pass her by.

I’ve constructed my own heaven,
One that I deserve.
Where the glitter’s broken glass
And all the angels; pervs.
Where euphoria is sold
For money by the gram.
Find me no more there on Earth
For this is where I am.

I’ve constructed my own heaven,
Wish that you could see
How much better this is than
The hell they made for me.
Where the demons hang by neckties
Grimacing in mirth.
Where the price of happiness
Is more than what it’s worth.

I’ve constructed my own heaven
With its golden gates,
Where a hedonistic ****
Of the senses waits.
Where the smokey clouds are dense
With fumes that stick to clothes.
I’ve constructed my own heaven
Of sorts, I suppose.

God can be patient
And Satan can wait.
Hang up the halos
And relock the gate.
Those who have entered;
Abandon all hope.
Death tried to take me
But just couldn't cope.

If my life, within my eye,
Should flash before me as I die,
Pain and doubt will turn a blur
As I recall my time with her.

Of all life; devoid and cold,
Onto just one thing I’ll hold.
Though I’ll lie in disrepair,
Fear will fade, for she is there.

You may not have noticed this
But when you kissed me last
Choirs sung out just for me
That your love had amassed.
In the pools of serotonin,
Scattered on the ground,
Glimmered there a mirrored glare
Of something quite profound.
In the sky was rainbow clouds
Of coloured cosmic dust,
Made not from some broken rock
But from eternal lust.
Air that had a tasteless taste
Had turned ambrosial.
Where was anhedonia
Was now an urge to feel.
From our lips our ecstasy
Was weightless, free and pure.
Glowing pink, its smoke would rise
In decadent allure.