I know what I am
going to do.
So,
save the judgment
for forces
that are higher up
in the food chain
than yourself...
Humans are really at the
Bottom of the gutter,
Well are minds are at least ;).
Its Spring.
Time,
for all the flake
away
Snowflake friends
to melt away .
Cause ****’s about to get really hot.
& This **** is about to get better.  
Under Dogs For The Win.

Break
my <3

&
I'll
break
your
******’ spine.
I'll curb
stomp
your mind
right back into
the gutter
it was hiding in.

&
I'll kick
your lie- leaking
teeth in.

Guess all the
Cut cauterizing,
Lemon- juice,
bathtubs
I bled-out
in.
Messed me up.

My bad for messing around
with
a ***** up.

In vain,
we all act like
we're the center of the universe.
A cheap trick,
for a poor soul to postpone
the underlying
truth that your
parents cared
more about what was on t.v,
than what you did at school Today.
Stop trying
to cover-up.
Recover.

Throwing down my towel.

To lay,
on top.

Of the
mausoleum...

So I can,
work.

On my tan.

Hating every second of it.
Sulking in the sunlight.

Cause
I'd
rather
be with you.

In
the
shade.

Drew,

I hope you made it to detox.
& I wish you would have gone to 7/11 with us instead of getting lost at the liquor store. But a promise is a promise. I quit popping pills today, like I told you. Even if you we’re just telling me what I wanted to hear, letting your words serenade me into buying you some cheap ***. Wherever you are just known I kept up on my end of the deal.
I’m irritable, hungry and I want to bash my head into the wall. But in a couple weeks I’ll be feeling really good again. The kind of good you can only dream of. The kind of good you felt before you knew the world was so bad.
Everyone says Jacob was a liar in the bible. But I think the bible is full of lies. My names Jacob and I’m actually honest.

When people say stupid ****.
"I'm uncomfortable with people standing beside me, behind my back"
- It's not like we care about your business, we've got our own **** to watch.
You're just paranoid cause
you're either
a good person
or your
guilty.
So which are you?

Confused.
Delusional.
You aren't looking through
real eyes if you think
you own something
that is in it's core breathing.
Space is something
that exceeds
realms of
heaven,
earth,
&
hell.
So you can't own space,
cause it's shared in
everything.
& even if you could buy space,
I think the only entity,
you could buy
from would
have to be
a lie dealer,
with fangs & horns.
Hell is the only place you
can buy space in.
***** money runs ***** places.
Kind of like a *******.


On a personal note.
Gold Coast, I almost worked there and I would have made 600 a night.
I'm glad I walked out of work with $25 in tips last Friday and kept my clothes on.

Burning like a match.

All I ask for is a shovel. I lost my roots, when I stepped outside my mind. To walk besides towers of false hopes, that stood higher than reality. Hallucinations of what could be always look better than the visions of what is. Like fool’s gold, my reality is also false.

Thoughts. In my thoughts, I sit alone. Watching the process I call my life continue for another day. A barred window is my only chance to see my body surrender to those bright white lights, without the compliance of my mind.

Retreating to the end of your mind, to converse with your fears is reckless endangerment. Some of us just live a little more dangerously.

Simple sunsets & the complexity of the circuit board. Leaving town, so we can laugh our lives away. Enlightenment is usually cloaked in lies. So we’ll spend our time running from the truth because that’s all one can do. Burning bridges to take the long way. Day to day life is just an escape from living.

In life, the soul is held captive in a flesh prison. But when the dream is over and my soul is freed, to fly into the emptiness of eternity. I will find you once again.

Burning like a match in the end we will be nothing more than ash. The great beyond is just a myth. Here today and gone tomorrow. Our hearts stop when the fire dies.



.

Benadryl and chill.
Anti hystamine dreaming.
Pre meditated drug dealing.

Over inflateted egos.
Boys with Legos
for brains.

Hussling at gas station.
Sending little paper parcels
to wide doe eyes.

Getting high is more fun, anyways.
Most days,
I'd rather play pretend.

In the moment.
In the money.

Cash speaks for itself.
If you have enough of it.

One gun, $600.
A round of bullets. $6.
Knowing that you have
a six-shot round.

&
enough money,
to get you
out of any kind of legal troubles.
Priceless.

Choose Visa.
Killah, it's your vice.

Black ravens,
running around
with
their heads
clear-cut
right off their
little
busy-bird-bodies.

You can
hang me
upside down
on a twisted,
wire-hanger cross.
Now.

Tis a cloudy day.
So do a lil'
rain dance,
lap dance
for me.

Won't you wait,
a second?
Please,
so the thunder
Can come
in through your ears.
&
Shoot
lightening
out your eyes.

if you we're really dead,
you would have seen the burning caterpillars,
become butterflies.
you're only living if you're seeing suffering.
death is merely a promise that everything works out in the end.

i was shooting for angels,
but i wound up hitting saints.

Listening to the
uncensored
lyric lies.

Getting lost.
in a mother *******
*******-haze or
web.

Uh,
whatever,
you say.

Just leave me
be.

& No
the colourful *****, you're
shovin' down my throat.

Isn't making me like you
anymore than I already
don't.

I feel like  
a lot of us
are driving around on an
capital "E"
for emphasis,
Emotional
round-a-bout
Difficult.
Tricky.
On the self-sticky note.
I have no idea
what the ****
I'm doing.
Guess I'm gunna
find out
when I
hit the wall in a
CRASH.
Or
I'll just
drive through the
cycle and make it work.
**** GETS BETTER.

I've fallen in rivers colder than you.
Under all the sorrow, there is a monster.
Much worse than me.
The ghost of you.

A shadow of the light you once were.

Life's swell;
when you're drowning
at the bottom of a wishing well.

In the company of your most guarded thoughts.
Burried emotional, traumas.

A crown, I'd rather not claim as my own.
I'm just passing time until it's time to go home.

Giving up,
giving in
& going down
hard.

On the gas.

Oh you know,
not giving a ****
&
flying down the free way.
Like a bad *****.

Till I crash
back
into your arms.

The race is over.

Hello Stranger,
just
think nothing of my words.
I only feel obligated
to be kind
to you <3.

Love exists when its convenient
for hatred to take a day off.
& I think it's *******.

The darkness of a void abyss
is to cold,
for the frost frost
to icily
glaze-blaze it.  

So
Put away
your shovel,
in the end,
everything is brought to the surface.
No matter how
deep the ditch.

Hallmark heartbreak,
seasonal depression
all four
seasons of the year.
Individuals
will always feel lonely
on the most
celebrated days of the year.
Feeling feels.
Like you're
living
for
for someone/thing
else.
& You're 1/2 way there to them.
But your still
halfway here.
1/2 ghost.
I just don't want to take any
pictures
today.
Metaphor
shmetaphor.
I'm the
metaphor magician.
:)
& you're beautiful.
<3

On the 69
blood-line.

A
free-flowing,
free-way
heading somewhere
West.

Cause every
selfless-soul
is just
sulking in the shadows.

Of a
Western
sun-set.

"Record this."

For this is
the end of a
day, today.

The end of an
era-o-errors.  

Shattered.
it sounds sweeter.
&
I'm not broken, anyways.

I'm just recreating
my
self-star
from
the ashes that the
fire-man gave me.

High Times In Harvey Taylor!
Part! VII: 1(800) *******t-a-l-k-i-n-g.

No, I don't need another therapist.
I've seen seven.
7 is a lucky number,
so I'm going to keep it great and stay away from
number eight.
I'm not unsnane,
I think my soul just came out to play for a minute.
Cause this weeds got me too ****** to juggle
thinking,
writing
and breathing all once.
My brains just taking a cat nap.
Soul Spit.
Gagayngster style.
Love Cult represent.
Bandit's going to get out of the 1-(517)

High Times In Harvey Taylor.

Part I: Weave Check.

Gurl,
you better
check, check,
check yo' weave
and yourself.
Before,
you let
those sticky fingers
of yours
give a
just because you bought me dinner,
*******.
And get stuck
with
the wrong
****.
You know what
I'm preaching?
Amen & Ahhh Harerujah.
After all,
Purgatory is
a place
for people
who commit
acts of pladjurism .
Praise Jesus, amen,
Um,
Whatever
you say Man,
just pass me that joint
and we'll be ight.
Kush,
blueberry
&
purple.
Grand-Daddy will be there too.
I've got a keiffe covered
doctors letter,
swimming
deep inside
the middle
of
my eighter.
Later Skater.

My conclusion was
that because people
are animal-like
in our human
nature,
most of us always feel the
need to belong.
Which the possibility
of having
everyone
in the world
believing that
they belong
is brilliant and beautiful.
& If it was
dealt
in a pure form,
not laced,
not bought from a shady dealer.
Suicide probably
wouldn't happen
so much.

I hope you suffer,
wounds deeper than
emotional scars beneath the dermal layer.

You're truely not worth the air,
you consume.
A zealot. Heretic turned holy.
An abomination hiding behind closet alcoholism.

I'd hate to be your  liver.

Uhmm,,,
why you drinking
haterade
at the bar?
There's plenty o'
liquor.
So we can
get drunk together
instead of fighting with
each other.
I'm cute,
why you gotta be so
ugly
to me?

High-on
up
in this moment.
Until tomorrow,
knocks me
out of the sky.
The
bad news bears
have woken up  
and now they're
here to stay.
Sometimes,
I wish it
was
still
January.
So the weather
could replicate
the season of my
ice cold heart.

4 a.m
watering the flowers.
Cry or cringe.
I'm crying my way out of this.
When used properly
Pretty boy tears work
like liquid magic.

Free flowing
pity rivers
flowing.
Cheek to cheek,

Then the well ran dry.
&
No more ***** were given.

All the
money a blank check
is worth for,
could never compare to
the true value,
of an
individual.
There's always
something
special
for everyone.
Cause everyone
is
something
special.
The world just
doesn't
want you
to know,
that you matter.
Cause they're afraid you're
going to
change
a
cycle,
that's been orbiting'
the earth,
since before we were here.


A circle-cycle, in it's simplicity is a double negative.
Like the Devil getting cozy
on a Demon's shoulder.
Double whammy.
Stop.
**** this.

I'm just cashed.
Today.
Tomorrow,
will
be
BETTER.

Bound to the darkness

of reality ,

Until The Sun

wakes up and

sets me free.

I don't know

what I want;

but I know

I don't want her.

My apology

was slurred

by the true suffering

of seeking your forgiveness.

It takes an

addict to know an addict.

How well do you know yourself these days?

I'm ****** up because you ****** me up,

What's your excuse?

The basement is empty

but theres always something to do

on the fifth floor.

I'm always upstairs,

if you catch my drift.




.

Shocking similarities of today, pull the trigger.
Flashbacks of my days spent here yesterday.
I'm lost in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If you were here and they were gone.

Guess I'm parasitic by nature, I'll find my way back to you.
Long after the maggots got the best of me.

I'm developing
physical ailments.
From my over abundance
of feelings, I'd rather not have.
Being human, ***** man.

Baby,

When I saw you with that other man

Just like your chastity.

A piece of me died

How could you do this to me?

I loved you with all of my heart

And all my soul.

There is a price to pay

For what you have done.

Execution at the hands of a gun.

Standing before me

In your final moments

Of your deceitful life.

You now feel my pain

I’m trying to make you suffer

By prolonging your shot to the head.

I hope you think about every lie,

That escaped your snake like tongue.

I hope you think this

Before you are dead.

Maybe then you will see

Babe there is no fooling me.

You’re pleas of insanity

And your excessive apologies,

Can no longer affect me.

I’m smarter now than I was before

I did my research and concluded

That you are a *****.

When I grow sick of your cries,

A single tear will flow down my face.

With sweaty palms

And trembling hands,

I will take one final breathe

And turn the gun.

For without your love,

I wish for my life to be done.

High Times In Harvey Taylor!
Part V:Rear window reflections.
I always try to see the best in people.
Or I just pretend to be blind.
Maybe, it's cause I'm not comfortable staring at
my half ghost reflection.

Rear mirror reflections,
I miss you.
You know, you guest star in my daytime,
soap opera fantasies often.
It's 11:11
and I wish I could make these fantasies
realities.
If you were here and they were gone.

Darling,

When I saw you with that cheap *****

I wanted to throw you out the door

No I couldn’t do that

I could never do that

With me it’s all or nothing

I’m taking all leaving you with nothing!

Standing behind you in the silence of the night,

I watch you cower in fright.

It’s not the size of my gun

That is making you run.

But your guilt for what you’ve done

And soon enough you will be carried on

A death without clothes

Shameless and lacking ***** hose

I will have you at your core

A selfish manipulative *****

Lacking a heart,

And lacking a soul.

I’m preparing the hole

That will be your home

You’ll be alone,

To rot until you’re nothing but bone.

And in vain

I will covet my pain

And spit on your grave

As I finish covering your earthen cave.

If you have ever felt 
like you're 
ready to just give up.
Cause the game
you're playing in
is full of cheaters.
Full of liars.
Full of false hopes.
&You; know you're never going to make it
out alone.
Welcome to the Love Cult.
We're underdogs too.

When you've been sick for so long.
That it feels more normal than anything.
A high functioning, hot mess.
As my mind runs in circles, on repeat.
Like a cursed pendulum.
Tomorrow's dissapointments are none of today's business.

Floating up, down
round the realms.
To no-where land.

A place where
nothing matters
.
It's a real,
place to be.

Living in the freedom
of a "promised" land,
within the comfort of your mind.

I'd like to go there.

It scares me, how much I'm like you. Generational demons unlocked their curses and waged a war against our souls. Like being caught under a frozen pond. Trying to break free of the oppression. Trying to breathe, while your breath of life became a long dramatic sigh. Like the sand on an hour glass slowly fading into past tense. I used to love you. I used to walk down one way streets too.

Wait,
wait, waiting
tables.
Waiting on my back,
waiting for you.
To come
and take
me to
Love's Bath House.
So we can get clean
together.

After all
love is
a shared feeling
anyways.

I want to go
and bathe,
in a liquid love pool,
cause
the city water
just doesn't feel
clean
anymore.

Their handshakes
leak a liquid lie.
An inception,
meant to cause
a deception
that they
"really"
care
about you.
The ******* is
infectious
and is
infecting
the world with
false hopes
and promised
paved paths
to future let downs.
Paid for by the people.
Made apparently for the people.
Yet the people can't even participate,
or have a chance to appreicate any
of the fruits they harvested
on a larger scale.
Because society has a caste system
and no matter how
civilized,
we claim to be.

Run, fast
and don't look back
at the phantoms who chase you.

For if you look into
the darkness.
It becomes a part of you.

Your imagination
is the foundation of
your reality.

You can never be lost
if you follow the silver-cord trail
all the way home.

Back into
my arms
again.

T.C.F-ucked
me over
to the other
red side of the bed.

But
only for you.
My sweet
broke-back,
***-backwards,
cold-heart-ed
crooks.

Next time,
there will be
no
bail-outs.

Like lightning
or invisible light.
Faster than a bullet
shot from an angry pistol's mouth.
I could cry,
for all eternity.
But that won't get me anywhere.
I've got
places to be & People to see.
I may have spent the night with you
but,
my morning will start without you.

The World will end....

When the freedom fire
of creativity&innovation.;
Burns-out.

Or
even worse,
if we sell it
4 $$$$$$.

Hello, to being
bailed-out-bought by
Big businessmen with even bigger wallets.

If anything is going on.
In the meeting room.
No one, can even hear a sound of it.

For the Serpent talk,
is hard to hear behind
closed doors.

I felt your envious eyes,
whisper tales of my true rank in life.
Untouchable, the dirt you wouldn't
grace your spit with.

A well fabricated quilt of lies.
To smother my heart and hold it
captive in the fires.
Of pure narcissism and self hatred.
Long after you left me here.

May our souls both find their peace.
Respectfully and may our hearts as dark and broken as they may be.
Mend themselves in the warmth, love and truth of the Sun once more.

Shun the sinner.
Love the sinner
hate the sin.
**** THAT.
God in essence
would essentially
be nothing more than love.
Which is
a
feeling that in the end,
everything is going to be okay
because
we're in
something much larger than
our
deepest fears,
our
biggest dreams
and
most importantly
ourselves.

* So when they preach hate,
that is apparently
sent from god.
How are you,
100%
sure that, whoever they're
talking to is
just pretending to
be something
they're not.

The Love Cult was
my Birthday gift,
from
friends in better places.
I feel like my body & soul
are walking out
on my old life.
To go
start a new one
with all the other
passionate people
who are hungry for hope
& happier days too.

Running in a race
of empty hallways, dead ends and hangovers.
Lobotamizing myself for the time being.
Like Spring the sun will always rise
to end the suffering  of days that
seem to never end.
Clocks never seem to work in our favor.
Even if we are on schedule.
**** it,
I'll just flip a coin and carry on.
The silver said tails.
I guess I'll just catch you on the astral plane.

No matter how many miles separate us.
If you never speak to me again.

At least, I can take comfort in knowing
that when you've had your fill.
Faith lost, hope vanished from your heart
without a trace.
I know,
you'll look to the stars.
Only to see tens of thousands of them;
shinning brightly on the darkest nights.
Just for you.

And if this life is just meant to be a realm of torture.
A realm of apathy and discontent.
I find peace within my heart knowing
I'll be looking at the same sky, too.

If the moment is yours, then live in it.

Just because you're grounded,

it doesn't mean you can not roam the world.

Don't look down on me for too long.

Cause  one day the scale will balance

and it will be just you and I.

You're running out of cards

and I still have a full deck.

The Queen of hearts

was killed by The King of Spades.

My heart is cold because you left the door wide open.

Prepare for war.

&
Each slow-alone-second
will bring me closer,
to the darkness.

Closer to the sun.
Closer, to my roots.
Or to something. Good.

&
When it sets.
I too, will blend
with the darkness.

&
****, will look
a
little better.

As wars wage within my heart.
I can feel my inner demons
playing my heart strings
like a harp.
A beautiful melody
of self destruction, hatred and fear.
Acoustics are great.
But I'm still waiting
for the choir of Angels
to sing songs
of love and peace.
Someday,
that's a nice thought.