It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

Another silent night where a moth flies with all its might,
To the flame, a beacon, too warm and bright
This entrancing distant spark in the vastness of the dark
Is proof that beautiful things, too, could end a life

“I could never blame you for how you’ll ruin me,
for I have always loved in extremes.”

The soft wind blows, enhancing the flame’s curves
The fearless moth draws nearer to the heat
It knows the cost, but it does not fear
To lose its wings for a single kiss

I hear her in the back of my mind
She is always present
You liked her voice
But Now you love mine

She crossed a line
That's why we stand here now
You liked her presence
But now you love mine

Do you still see her in me
Rebuild and rebranded
You liked her
But Now you love me

-N.T.H