.

He doesn't realise...
The weight of his actions and words that pummel her to the ground.
Beating her down for every time she rises up to undo his ropes with which she's bound.

He doesn't see...
Past the darkened lenses that she dons.
She wears them,
not to shield her pride that was wrongfully taken,
but to protect him from the repercussions that would come with accusatory speculations.

He doesn't know...
Of the soaked pillow that accompanied her.
The rivulets of tears...
She had quietly shed without a whimper.

He doesn't hear...
The silent altercation between the treasure that beats in her chest and the thing that thinks in her head.
The struggle that ensues when the mind tries to rescind what the heart had wholly given and carelessly said.

He doesn't care...
To think of the devastating waves that come.
Only to erode the last bastion of hope she nurtures...
This frail wall that she prays for nightly.
Just so that it would hold up through another day's endeavour.

He doesn't feel...
The need for empathy.
For he thinks that he's god with one devout follower.
He commands her loyalty with his deluded testaments
and his fists as sceptre.

She doesn't live...
To see future suns.
For her day finally set when it all came down.
The wall she had feebly held together with her life...
Easily gave way when he came at her armed with a knife.

.

my brain tricks me into thinking
that i'm the only woman
who's turned out jaded
after watching a man eat
chunks of my still beating heart

it's easy to place myself upon
this island, silent and sorry
while i sob under pine trees
and curse the planets for
making me endlessly desire love

i see you approach the shore,
the boat wasn't built with
your own hands, but you're
still a better man than all
of the ones that proceeded you

i speculate that you're here
to hunt weak and easy prey,
truth is that doubt and not loving
myself will be the only misfortunes
that bleed me dry

Like one single candle can light up a dark night,
one kind word can light up your day.

She was a rose dying internally,

No one recognized her suffering,

All that mattered to the world was themselves…

~E.J.W~

A year ago
I wrote you a poem
About birthdays
It was a love poem
It told you my fears
Of you leaving me behind
My nightmares of laying in bed alone and sobbing your name in my sleep.

March 9th 2015
I was so scared of you leaving me
I was scared that I wasn't enough
That it wasn't enough
So I gave
And I gave
And I gave
And you took
And took and took and
You stole from me
Ripped at my skin and
Left bite marks on my neck
Your saliva running through me

And you took and took and took
Until there was nothing left of me
Except for fear
And self loathing

I thought I wasn't enough
So I let you steal
I bit my lip and silenced my crying
Letting tears fall when you
Couldn't see
I thought it would be enough

I tried to tell myself it was fine
Tried to will away the fear
The icky feeling in my chest
Between my legs
Tried to tell myself I loved you

Birthday ***
Birthday ***
Birthday ***

You took and you took and you took

Birthday ****.

March 9th 2015
A year ago I was scared of you leaving
March 9th 2016
Now I'm scared of you coming back.