I think the tears that slip out the corners of your eyes when you are laying on your back in your bed are the saddest

It's like I'm writing letter
after letter after word
after sentiment and sentimentality
to you.
"You"
This elusive love has not left
my bones yet
nor will it ever.
It has seeped into me,
and no matter how many things
I write and say and do,
it is here to stay.
I'll fill pages with you,
thoughts and whispers and prayers.
Maybe, sometime, parts of me will move on,
but the parts I have given to you
will always be yours.

Year after year
Day after day
The grief is still the same
It didn’t get better
It didn’t become okay
It swallowed me whole
Refusing to let me go
I shed a tear for everyday without you
The tears are endless like the heartbreak
Days pass and suddenly I’m back to that horrid day
I’m not allowed to shut everyone out for that day
My family refuses to let me
Funny how we all lost you
And yet they still fight me on grieving for the day
But I know you’d smack me upside the head
And ask me why I’m crying
I know you’re at ease and happy
But what I would give for another night on the front porch swing
A night I didn’t know at the time but would become one of the many memories I now hold onto like my life depends on it
But I know it doesn’t
But your memory does
And I use your memory as my life support
I miss you Grandpa
I love you Grandpa
I wish I told you that more often when you were still here