Mere presence and chapter's over,
Glowing thought and sparkling eyes..
Let me write your dream turnover,
Freezing sun and burning skies.

Let me try a bit of treasure,
Daily dreams and nightly ghosts.
Searching for forgotten pleasure,
Sitting down, writing posts.

Glimmers drop of crazy thinking,
Little hope within blue eyes.
Every dream right now is shrinking,
Holding on, believing lies.

I don't even know what to say.

I don't even know how to start.

There is so much to mention,
We are now drifting apart...

Close by, somewhere far away
Days might be simply ash grey
You are the one out of not many to help
You are the one who is always right there

Knowing now that it is almost the end
Taking mask off, ending games of pretend
Have to mention quite a lot
Talking honest, that is what I want

Through relationships I was actually taught
How to trust one and how to not
How to differ from fake to real
Speak openly and say what you feel  

From mistakes and ridiculous paths,
From being able to observe aftermath...
I was gradually getting away
From the beast like I'm its prey.

I wonder why I think of nothing when I am travelling...
I hear voices of people, but no sounds of my own.
No whisper, breath or heartbeat sounds,
I only dream..A dream made out of icy clouds.
And there is, I hear voice of a little girl

Nan! Nan!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana peel
Daad!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You said it...

She kept making these silly jokes and even I smiled as I heard them...
She kept asking her parents and nan to answer her 'knock in the door'.
She reminded me of someone,
As she kept annoying them more.
I blocked out for quite a while staring somewhere far,
She reminded me of someone...
I guess once I was just like her...
I was just like that girl you heard,
I was this, little, silly kid
Making jokes, laughing all day long.
Blurry face with no care at all.

What about now? Would you like to know?
I am buried now, buried in routine...
Every day's the same, passing by so fast
Yesterday was spring,
And today is gone...

What about now? You don't want to know...
You are growing old, missing out youth
Yesterday was warm, but today is snow
Every year's the same,
It fades out slow....

Sun and sea. The best combination.
Warm sunshine gently plays with the surface of dark, salty water.
As my train quickly passes tunnels, the sunshine bounces back at me each time one ends and the other begins.
Blinded for few seconds I smile at the warmth I receive through the dusty window I sit next to...

I sat on this train for one reason...
I wanted to get away from this muddy season,
To get away from these many people,
Sick surroundings and daily fever.
I wish this train had no destination
Just let me stay here and travel ages...
Tell me. Please tell me the name of desired station.
My type of travelling creates new pages...
Train stops. One more sensation.
Ghost town. Forever forgotten...
Should I stay here or travel further?
Sea glimmers. How not to sink right to the bottom?
Engine starts again. Moving faster.
I remembered days with my dear father
I am just like him...The Journey Lover...

I've got a name and its Adventure Seeker.
The closer I am to things I love, I get so much weaker.
Smell of the breeze, old books, fir needles,
Moist after rain, rain droplets,
The sound of fire, cracking noise...
Heartbeat...quicker and quicker
Forest and fog my A.L.W.A.Y.S choice
To be found or lost?!
Excitement grew bigger.
I am euphoric when I travel places
New station..one last destination..new blurry faces....
Flashing lights,
Damp nights.
Dark skies,
Billion stars.
****** moon,
Thoughts doomed.
No humanity, no regrets.
One-on-one with nature and its threats.

I've got a name and its Adventure Seeker,
Prefer outskirts over sin cities,
Keep no secrets, but a passion keeper.
Civilisation- long time dead lilies.

I took this train for one and only reason,
To get away from this deadly prison...

I am holding a gun for the very first time
I am standing straight with my head up high
They promised my mum that I will be back
But only now I know that it was a lie.

He lights up a flare and gives drugs to me
I inhale slowly in hopes to be free
My legs are bleeding, my feet’s are bloodshed
Unbearable pain starting to spread.

There is a night which I will never forget
I was running next to a person who I barely met
My skin, my clothes were soaked and wet
Running under cold raindrops and playing pretend

Pictures and images stood concrete in my eyes
Flashing back at me and making me cry
It took few seconds for this moment to freeze
I remembered my life and the smell of the breeze  
Slipping through fingers, death used its claws
I turned for a second to give him a hand
He extended it further, but  was shot in the gland.

I lost all my mates throughout the fight,
I lost my mentality and I lost my fright.

One second, one shot, life taken away
Constant desires to sit down and pray
Not for my life, but for my mother,
I will try my best to stay alive rather .
Pray not for myself, but for my dad
For them to go through it and not to go mad.

I am living no more, but I am surviving,
I sit down one day and I just start writing
I wrote every feeling, emotion I had
I asked for a flare, inhaled the drug.

Missing how she used to dance
I wish I had another chance
To smile back at her once more
Remember days we've had before?

Her silky top now lying cold
Her heart is ice in metal box
My memories will never fade
I could not speak so I just prayed.

Things are told sometimes in silence,
They are told sometimes through eyes.
When I stand I search for balance,
Eyes are dry from when one cries.

Words are useless, just like phrases,
Just like any complex speech.
Follow up from morning races,
One left speechless, let's not preach.

Silence, simply song for deaf,
Crazy melody for soul.
He was sane and now he left,
He was only playing role.

Silence will one day collapse..
Rooms... are quite from before....
Mouth sealed with sticky wax.
Silence, thing, that I adore.