Winking, winking- I like you
But you won't know because you're not looking at me
You're looking at her smile in the middle of the room
When all the while I'm just here always winking
By your side, smiling, winking wanting to catch your eye
Like an idiot, slowly losing her control
Because she doesn't have
neither confidence nor courage to say hello.

When we first met I never have I thought of you throwing you life out of the line
Until we became friends, never in my thoughts have I thought you'd do such thing to yourself

Those time spend together full of smiles and laughs
I realized that, it was all nothing but a mask for you to hid

How did you do that, pretending to be fine when you knew everything was nothing but sadness
Why didn't you tell me when you were drowning on your own thoughts everyday
Why didn't I noticed everything happening to you when you were alive

I ask myself the same question everyday
When I walk, before I sleep, most especially when I looked in the mirror
As I ask myself, blaming myself for not being there when you were hurting

I am your friend- I was your friend

Oh how I wish for you to see the sun rise once again
But there's nothing I can do, I am no god, I can never bring you back to life
I'm just a friend who never saw the scars on your soul

I regreted believing you when you said "Some dust got my eyes" one Tuesday night when you cried on the corner

I was a fool believing you when you said " I'm just feeling cold" wearing a thick sweater one summer morning

I was blind believing you were truly happy when your smile never reached your eyes when we laughed our jokes out

I thought I knew "too much" of you, but in reality I was oblivious of the "true" you, of the "whole" you. How stupid of me, right?

You're like a universe: so silent, so beautiful, yet still unknown to most, until your last breath.

Slowly

you

became

a

complicated

riddle

forever

remaining

a

mystery.

Knock- knock
         I'm knocking on your heart

Knock- knock
         Can you feel my hand reach unto your heart?

Knock- knock
          I've been knocking on your heart for so long

Knock- knock
         It seems I'm not welcome in your heart.

It was in spring when you ― a complete stranger ― had melted my heart, uttering sweet words to your mother whom you've missed. And I thought how eerie it was that a stranger can easily tug at my heartstrings. Everyone loves their mother, so what makes you different? That remained a mystery to me, but perhaps it was the words you chose that enthralled me.

Still, in summer, I gave my love to another. That didn't close my doors, though. I still wanted to know you.

Autumn, then winter came. Seasons pass by quickly as I, too, quickly grew fonder of you. I count the leaves fall from the trees just as I count the times you've made me laugh. I watch the snow fall from the sky just as I watch you and realize... I do like you, dear.

A year has passed and I got to know you better. This time in spring, I started falling for you. You've melted my heart once again when you sang to me. Your voice that holds so much emotion ― how mesmerizing you really are. You never cease to amaze me. And perhaps that's the reason why I was bemused the first time.

Who knew it was the same season when you first knocked on the door of my heart? Now I'm finally letting you in for I know the answer this time ― I do love you, dear.

This time in summer, I didn't look for another and gave my love to you, wholly. You truly know the way to my heart.

But nothing can compare to the love that bloomed in spring ― the time you had enchanted me with the euphonious voice of yours. Just like how you sang to me, “I'll be the spring to your smiles,” for you are my only spring love.