Turn up the silence and block out the sun,
Alone in my room, a bottle and a gun.
It goes click twice, I'll see another day,
Tears start to fall, can't carry on this way.

Spent years learning how to scream
with your mouth closed.

American liberalism;
How to explode on nuclear levels
without burning a single calorie,

and we're all just
painted blue.

**** it, why not make nothing off limits,
why not break everything with
something soft and velvety
or a sledgehammer made of
cardboard
executing murders at breakneck speeds.

So maybe nobody gives a ****,
and it's whatever, you're whatever
being lonely is whatever, this life
is so ******* whatever,
banal, passe.

Eyed like a tiger and donated blood to
the vampires, and used like a ******
but only ****** like ****** over;
****** like a father.
Lonely and sad and
contemplating if the bar in the closet

can support my weight at the end of a belt.

Contemplating if the liquor at the bar
tastes sweeter than the people.
Or maybe I should just move on.
Maybe I should pack all my bags
and just run 'till Satan can't collect
and no one knows my name,
so I'll make a new one.

I resent everybody here anyways.
Casual spite. I hope you all die,
so you can't see how much I truly
don't give a **** about any of you.

I'm just tired some more maybe.

I am not a boy
I am a tumor
I am an angler in the deep darkness waiting
I am enclosed, claustrophobic, and suffocating
extrapolating, because
I am a calculator and I want all the solutions to your infinity
I am a sine function perfectly predictable
I am a cancer
I am a twig in your forest, and the words in your thesaurus
that bore us because
I am a scholar
I am a hunter
I am an architect through the desert sands that demands
and understands because
I am a boy.
And I am not a boy, because
I am a tumor.

one impeccable beam of moonlight
on the floor. I stoop,
aiming to grasp, and fall through
your mind
Cerulean thoughts and your umber veins
Dark fire and coldest metal
no love lost here; no,
no love at all
and shuddering I ran past iron and onyx and somehow,
lost in this waxing labyrinth, I wane
and all my love of the skies
could never again convince me to go to the moon in your eyes.