Because I was busy looking at him, I thought it was too late,
To ever fall in love again, or move on,
But you said we'd just be fun,
So I said come over, we'll hang out,
But then all the things we talked about,
How we had toxic people we couldn't get enough of,
And that night I don't know how happened, was it you or all the drugs?
It could've been the Molly mixing with our feelings of affection,
But I never felt so struck when I first touched someone, I was so effected,
And I never want it to end, no not again,
I want us forever to stay in my bed,
Have what's mine become ours,
And have a clean start,

Because I was under the spell of someone who won't let me go,
They pop up every time I'm feeling like I'm most vulnerable,
And they claw their way back into the deepest part of my heart,
Then tear it to shreds, and leave on the floor like it's piece of art,
But you soothe all of my shattered soul,
And for that now I'm the one not letting go,

Maybe one day we can start a family that we shared we both dream of,
But first I need to work out if this is even a healthy kind of love,
Because every time I fall it's just to land on my face,
And to find that I'm left behind without a trace,
I can't take being abandoned again,
Because I love you, but you're also a good friend,
And you helped me leave behind someone who hurt me for so long,
I can't thank you enough for being there for me, even if it is kind of wrong,
Because I have a habit of loving men who are attached,
You have a girlfriend, and you need to leave her, that's become a fact,
I won't be your secret love,
The side *****, feeling like a ****,
I won't be that again, no not anymore,
It's not a feeling I can afford,

Because I was under the spell of someone who won't let me go,
They pop up every time I'm feeling like I'm most vulnerable,
And they claw their way back into the deepest part of my heart,
Then tear it to shreds, and leave on the floor like it's piece of art,
But you soothe all of my shattered soul,
And for that now I'm the one not letting go.

Wish I had some harder drugs to get high,
To get rid of the feelings of when you lie,
Straight to my face,
Who did you **** today?
I know you're not telling the truth when you say no one,
And I should have some self-respect, and be done,
But I've been on this ride for so long,
I don't know how to even get off,
And I just keep calling it love,
But maybe this toxicity just is not enough,
Anymore,
What for?

For all the lies he feeds me about a future only he can ever see,
Because all I can envision is the past and everything he kept promising to me,
Then he handed to someone else on a silver platter while I begged for scraps of affection,
I just want to be free, free of the love he gives me that's no more than an addiction,

It's killing me slowly,
Bringing me so low, see,
I'm on the ground ***** and crawling,
Not seeing the writing on the wall that's scrolling,
Over and over warning me to run,
Find someone who doesn't think it's fun,
To make me cry at night in bed all alone,
While he can't answer the ******* phone,
Cause his wife is next to him,
And what do I have, *****?
Nothing at all,
Who for?

For the man who feeds me lies about a future only he can ever see,
Because all I can envision is the past and everything he kept promising to me,
Then he handed to someone else on a silver platter while I begged for scraps of affection,
I just want to be free, free of the love he gives me that's no more than an addiction.

You're too much of a coward to admit the truth,
what happened between us was nothing new,
But you're a weak man,
And therefore you can't stand,
By my side, no,
Please just go,
You're not a lion baby,
Just scared, and kinda shady,
Like a newborn lamb,
You'll be slaughtered when they understand,
I'm not crazy and you're a liar,
I hope your words get dragged through the fire,
And brought to the light for how wrong they were,
That you get everything you deserve,

You're so weak,
Not the man you pretend to be,
But I see you or who you really are,
And that scares you so much, you tried to run far,
To get away from the truth in my eyes,
That see through all your lies,
So this is goodbye, Babe,
And this time, There's nothing left to say,

You're a man with no morals,
And the way you treated me was horrible,
Couldn't admit you loved me,
Where anyone could see,
I was the side *****,
And that's no way to live,
So I'm done with your games,
That you like to play,
Have fun in your world so plastic,
It's gotta be ******* toxic,
And I hope you choke on your lies,
As I walk away one last time,
You called me weak once,
But you're a liar, so here's the truth,

You're the one who's weak,
Not the man you pretend to be,
But I see you or who you really are,
And that scares you so much, you tried to run far,
To get away from the truth in my eyes,
That see through all your lies,
So this is goodbye, Babe,
And this time, There's nothing left to say.

I am not dealing with these hoes, you want him, have his ***,
I'm tired of being dragged down by his overpriced baggage,
I don't know about you, but I've got too much pride,
For these little girl games, I won't blindly take a man's side,
If I know he's wrong, you know he's wrong, then why,
You in my inbox telling me to **** myself, telling me to die?
Think Imma go walk into traffic, cause you said so?
No I don't think so, this isn't Simon says **,
I'm on some grown woman ****, so what Imma do,
Is not **** him, and Imma not **** with you,
Because...

Real men don't have a main chick or a side chick,
They're proud when their woman's more than a little thick,
And they don't let ******* go in on them,
They protect what's theirs and they defend,
So here's to my former side chick anthem,
Telling all you ******* out there to drop him,

And honestly, let's be real, he's going to call me in few days,
Saying all the things he always says,
But this time, brinnnng brinnng, yeah, I'm sorry no body is home,
The *** you have dialed, has reformed, please press end call on your phone,
Here's some real *** ****, if you think you may be the side chick,
Do yourself a favor, leave, ain't nothing worth it, not even that ****,
He thinks he's worth it, perfection, you'll never leave,
Then why I'm already blocking you on everything?
Because...

Real men don't have a main chick or a side chick,
They're proud when their woman's more than a little thick,
And they don't let ******* go in on them,
They protect what's theirs and they defend,
So here's to my former side chick anthem,
Telling all you ******* out there to drop him.

Why do I **** with you,
When all that we do is,
******* and bang,
Every time we hang,
And this is not okay,
For someone who's slightly insane,
And I've got addiction issues already,
And now you adding in this **** is so heavy,
Before it was just ***** I tripped over,
Now it's the white stuff that's keeping me from gettin sober,
And I crave it like I crave your attention,
But I don't really ever get it,
And it bothers me,
Why can't you see,

That we're not good together, we are not healthy,
And I just for once want someone who's going to push me,
To be better, and not just to settle for good enough,
But you just want to be friends who hang and do drugs,

And I'm not okay,
I haven't known how to say,
That I'm not alright,
And I'm slowly losing the fight,
But I know my suicidal fits,
They scare you more than a bit,
And you'll run away,
Taking my new friend *******,
Can I just can't have that,
So I stay alive for a fix and my cat,
Cause she needs me too,
And I don't know what to do,
Because I've got a new couple of addictions,
And I'm starting to have withdrawal  from your lack of attention,

But we're not good together, we are not healthy,
And I just for once want someone who's going to push me,
To be better, and not just to settle for good enough,
But you just want to be friends who hang and do drugs.

How do I find the words,
And for them to not burn,
Coming out of my throat,
We've been in this boat,
Time and time again,
And I'm sorry my friend,
But how do I say,
That I don't want to see another day,
Don't want to live through another sunset,
I still don't know how to get,
These words out,
They can't be found,
It's like 404 of the brain,
And I'm just so insane,
At this point from these boys,
Who treat me like a toy,
To be put on a shelf,
Only to enjoy me in good health,
But when I'm not okay,
Well them I'm afraid,
They leave,
They always leave,

And I'm so tired of living every day like I'm okay,
But I just don't know how to tell you, to say,
That I need help, because I can't be hospitalized another time,
But where does that leave me to turn, I need a sign,

But God has definitely abandoned me,
If he was ever there like they say to believe,
Because I've done things, I've seen things,
I've smoked things, I've snorted things,
And at this point, He can't love me,
God knows no man can find a redeemable quality,
To stick around for,
And I know we've been here before,
But I can't seem to be alright,
No matter how hard I fight,
How many times I meditate,
How hard they try to medicate,
These feelings of suicide,
Out of my half-dead hide,
I can't seem to muster the will to live,
And any I used to have has drained out like a sieve,
The years drained out all the good,
Leaving nothing but pieces misunderstood,
And always feeling abandoned,
Dark thoughts like friends in my head,
The only one's who truly know,
How I feel on a daily basis though,

And I'm so tired of living every day like I'm okay,
But I just don't know how to tell you, to say,
That I need help, because I can't be hospitalized another time,
But where does that leave me to turn, I need a sign.

Smoke more ****, at night,
Forget in the daylight you wanna die,
Cause life's rough,
And you're tired of acting tough,
So smoke ****, to get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Forget that you wanna die,
Smoke ****, so high,
Cause trauma leave scars,
And you're thoughts are turning dark,
In my mind it's all a mess,
And I must, I must confess,
Or I'm going to die,
But I'll continue to lie,
So I'll get high, smoke ****,
Until I can succeed,
In forgetting about you,
And the things that you made me do,

Trauma unfortunately makes the world go wrong way round,
Makes good people turn morally 180 upside down,
Do things they wouldn't of done,
If someone hadn't ****** them up,
Smoke ****, get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Wanna die, wanna die, get high,

Why do people do horrible things?
It's like a circular cycle of a ring,
It goes round and round, trauma does,
And it's so, it's so ****** up,
So we smoke ****, and get high,
To forget that we want to die,
Because someone hurt us in a way,
That still affects us to this day,
So we numb our brain,
With any kind of novocaine,
Because trauma is pain,
Every day, that's why I'm insane,
And I want it to stop, stop, stop,
So I take a pufffff,
of ****, to get high,
Forget that I wanna die,

Trauma unfortunately makes the world go wrong way round,
Makes good people turn morally 180 upside down,
Do things they wouldn't of done,
If someone hadn't ****** them up,
Smoke ****, get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Wanna die, wanna die, get high.