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Oct 2020
Why do you make me bleed bleed, bleed bleed, keep me bleeding,
It's like you're only happy when I'm on the edge of walking away and leaving,
You love me confused, blurred between sanity and insanity,
But every moment whether it's with or without you is calamity,
And I'm so close to losing it again,
The psych ward is becoming my best friend,
And I don't like it, but you don't seem to give a single ****,
I'm just waiting for when my heart said it's had enough,
Cause that ******* is dumb as ****,
Let's you beat it to pulp and asks for one more hit,
My head's been screaming for awhile now to please let go and not to linger,
But I still have at least have one more fiber of skin left hanging on in my *******,

******* for not walking away when you can see I'm incapable,
You're not gonna leave me until I'm broken and beyond savable,
You want every piece of me that's not broken, and I'll tell you it's not many,
And all the shards are screaming out, "Please somebody save me!'

You, you just love that I love you, and it's not quite the same,
As a love that doesn't keep making you feel more in (*******) sane,
But I don't think you really know the difference,
You only think love is real when it's toxic as ****,
And me, I just want for once to feel okay,
Not to wake up dreading another day,
But you, you don't care as long as I'm paying attention,
What happens though if you push me over the edge of my depression?
Just one step too many and you know I'll down a hand-full of pills,
Not look back until I wake up in the ER or looking down at myself buried under a hill,
Sometimes though I wonder,
If you want me six feet under,
Just for the ability,
To ask other girls for their sympathy,

******* for not walking away when you can see I'm incapable,
You're not gonna leave me until I'm broken and beyond savable,
You want every piece of me that's not broken, and I'll tell you it's not many,
And all the shards are screaming out, "Please somebody save me!'
Valarola Nikola
Written by
Valarola Nikola  33/F/New York
(33/F/New York)   
505
 
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