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Oct 2020
Why do I let you treat me more ****** up than I deserve?
I've been asked this time and again, and I wish had the nerve,
To say enough is enough like they all wish I would,
But there's a monster in me that needs to be treated like less than dirt,
It feeds off my misery and is only contented when I'm depressed,
Between the edge of sanity and insanity I must have confessed,
This to you at some point, and now it's like you get off on the fact,
That I won't walk away no matter how badly you act,
And yes, there is care and love underneath all of the self-torment,
But it's a twisted kind that feeds off of your dark sentiments,
It gets off when you ***** another chick and I take you back like that can undo,
All of the ******* I you continue to let you put me through ,
But if you loved me, you wouldn't hurt me over and over like you do,
Please can you let me go, or my mom will be burying another child, this I promise you,


You're the worst kind of drug, you don't just feed me with the all of the emotional highs,
But you also reinforce it with the sweetest of words that tell me what I am doing is right,
We've become too entwined in this entanglement,
So let's find a way to turn this into a disentanglement,


Because I tend to self-medicate with anything that's close enough to grab,
And you've quickly become my favorite crutch to lean upon when I'm in a jam,
It's not alright and it doesn't really work for either of us anymore,
It hasn't for awhile, and I've been tired of feeling like your secret *****,
I see that whatever demon is eating you,
Likes feeding off of mine a little bit too much too,
And too long it's been draining me,
Do you not care what's you're doing, or too dumb to see?
Now I can only look up to the stars,
And wish on them so **** hard,
But they don't listen to me and neither do you,
So please let me go, or I'll be another grave in your rear view,
Another name to tattoo somewhere,
If you even care enough to dare,


You're the worst kind of drug, you don't just feed me with the all of the emotional highs,
But you also reinforce it with the sweetest of words that tell me what I am doing is right,
We've become too entwined in this entanglement,
So let's find a way to turn this into a disentanglement,
Sometimes in my darkest moments, I write how I feel in the hope of exorcising whatever emotion is eating at me.
Valarola Nikola
Written by
Valarola Nikola  33/F/New York
(33/F/New York)   
115
   Ms Anjaan
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