The day I met you I was drunk
The house was breathing with life and memories being made
And I heard someone mumble something about someone being here
And nearly panicked at the possibilities of whom it could've been

But then you spoke
The room died down for a few seconds,
As if everyone there knew how important you were
And how important you would be
Then exploded into laughter

And you vanished into the crowd leaving a canary yellow glass slipper behind as a calling card

The first Wu-Tang song we listened to together was C.R.E.A.M
I didn't know you were a fan until it came on
And suddenly I remembered that slipper

And as time went on, I'd slowly begin to understand the level of your royalty
I'd see you fight back invisible armies in the name of love
I'd see you take command and charge the world with fire in your eyes
And eventually I realized that, around you
I was invincible
(Or felt like it at least)

And now, here you lay
Empress of Goons and Wu-Tang
Goddess of the very moon and stars that speak through your eyes each time you smile
Queen of the Hood Rats
Princess, and keeper of the key to my heart
And as I watch you laugh and enjoy yourself
I'll clutch the glass slipper behind my back
And wonder when the right time to present it to you is
And I'll pray that one day
You'll allow me to call you mine

There's something about you that's addictive
I can't put my finger on it

Is it the way you look at me with such wholehearted assurance and acceptance that I can't help but smile?
Maybe it's how those beautiful eyes twinkle at the thought of anything remotely fun
Or how your baby hairs dance in the wind while the sun kisses your cheek each time you step out of the house

You have a scent I can't seem to shake
And a voice that's got my heart and veins pounding in catharsis

The first time I met you I thought you were cool
And each time we've met since then
You dropped rose petal after rose petal onto my mind
And lit a candle in my soul

Each time our late night talks melt into soft moans or electric laughter
I feel you steal another piece of my heart

Every time we converse together helps build the unbreakable desire
To slap a massive ring onto your hand and whisk you away

Every magic moment, blending into hours of peace and happiness
Punctuated by the softest parts of your soul.

I told you once I'd paint master pieces in your honor and put them in museums
I'd name the paintings "Not As Good As The Original"
Or
"Beautiful Piece but No Where Near As Accurate As The Real Muse"
Or
"Painting #5,607 of My Favorite Woman"
The part I didn't mention was the Museum's name

See, I'm gonna build it myself
And I'll name it:
The Magpie Museum of the Angel Trapped on Earth
The walls will be littered with portrait after portrait of you
The floor, lined with endless carvings of poetry and compliments meant for you and you alone
And this?
This poem will be #3
Of 10,000.

It's been a long time since I wrote to you.
I wanna say that I was wrong
And that you've always known the truth
But I rediscovered stone and shattered my magic mirror
Made the glass into some lenses and now I see clearer
I think about you a lot these days
Especially while pushing it high down the freeway
The memories of self loathing blasting in my head, like a reply

I wanna say I'm sorry for how I treated you
But that would mean that I was wrong to believe in you
I'd apologize for getting you started on the ****
But let's face it, you found peace hidden in the leaves

I'd apologize for trying to fix you myself
But that would mean admitting I gained nothing from my efforts

In all reality I cannot do anything to prove to you my undying love for you
Especially after all these years of calling you
The King of Nothing Nobodies
And all these nights of beating and berating you relentlessly
And of slicing your fingertips so that it burned every time you touched anything
Whether you cared for it or not.

I will prove to you I love you.
That all these years of hatred and loathing were simply a deep love
A love that wanted you to be better
And was angry that it just wasn't that ******* easy

But now you are
And I know for a fact you are
And I'm ready to build a shrine from your ****** sacrifices
In your honor

I sat in the van with no idea of what to do
Which wasn't unusual
But what was unusual, was the aching feeling of eyes peeling away my skin from the distance
The etched-out image of a human dancing in my peripherals only made things worse
I tried thinking thoughts of pleasant days
But the night sky seeped into my thoughts by crawling through my eyes and infecting my mind

The sun cracked and tore away pieces of its shell
To illuminate the land with its soft kindness
Rather than beat it down with harsh and unforgiving, life bringing daylight.
I felt at peace but precariously
Like I should rest, but the absolute second I close my eyes
Snarling jaws would appear around my throat
The silent and beautifully peaceful night would shriek with sounds of gunshots
And by morning I'd be left a pile of bones and stripped flesh

Those thoughts began to fester
Inside I felt cornered and unable to give my mind peace
Outside, prey to predator waiting on the chopping block to be torn apart
Like a present under the tree

So as I sat, first in silence, then to the gentle heartbeat of music
I debated guitar
Too jittery
I pondered calls
People despise late night nonsense

The air grew thick with tension, doubt, paranoia, disgust, acceptance and love as I realized the only way to pass this time
The only way I could end my daily date with the moon and stars
And return to the solitude of my peace
Was to sing to the universe itself
Until my song ended
Whether or not that was my choice.
Now I typically want that choice more than anything else
But something was wrong this time

So I sat and spoke to the moon
Or maybe to the stars
Or to God
Or to Myself
Or to no one at all
And yanno what?

Whoever,
Whatever
I spoke to in this time where I was vulnerable only to myself
Told me something I'd never forget:

Live for.

Sunday mornings we would make breakfast together.
I always burned the bacon a little bit too much for your taste
Or overcooked the eggs
And sometimes we wouldn't eat at all
We'd stay in bed and sleep until one of us had to go

I'd wake up to small strips of light firing through your brightened blinds
And hear you singing somewhere near
And every morning you would sing
And it would wake me from my frozen trance with a warm smile
And sometimes even lull me back to sleep to much more soothing dreams

But one day you stopped singing
And your songs became more and more rare
Beaten into a gentle hum that could only be heard from the same room

And then you stopped humming
You'd get this quiet sadness in your eyes and while I'd try to help
Or alleviate it in anyway I could
It would linger like the ghost of a parent

I'll miss the morning tunes the most I think
But maybe I was right about one thing in all of this
Maybe things are better this way

But darling, do I miss the ******* music from your soul
And I hope one day
You find your song again
And someone
Or some situation
That makes you sing every morning
To greet the sun as warmly as it will you.

Sleeping through pain is a tumor
Eventually
All emotions become scary
And you'd rather sleep
And starve your soul
And become a martyr for your fears
Than feel anything other than temporary happiness

I am the Apple Tree.
Please, feast

I was once accused of being the devil under a darkened moon on a foggy night

Now, I've met the devil and let me tell you
The devil once beat me with a curtain rack over my back until I bled
Only to pretend it was in the sport of the game

I've met the devil
In fact, the devil used to show my mom love from the end of a fist and in the sunrise after a long night of crying
Would convince her it was in the name of his love for her

I've befriended the devil
The Devil once taught me how to pick locks and marks minding their own business
And to prey on these people, nay,
Opportunities
Like my life depended on it

I've lived with the devil
The devil kept once locked me in a house-shaped-prison before flinging me into the world unprepared, and dazed
Only to blame me for not watching the outside close enough from my foggy window

I've loved the devil
And eagerly, I gutted myself in the devil's name each time she asked me to see my still beating heart
Only to be confused as to why she hated the mess that followed my orders

I've sacrificed to the devil
I've taken my own heart and soul, and impaled them on a blade made of pure jaded spite, only to lay them with all the other hearts I've stolen and pierced
Unknowingly, yet undoubtedly maliciously.

I've kissed the devil
And in that deal I sealed my fate a lifetime of servitude to a soul I helped created
And created a bond with the devil that was forbidden for good reason

I've lied to the devil
Only to have my mistakes return and slash me across the face like the blade that is the sun's beams shedding light on a long night of forgetting problems
No matter how justifiable he claimed I was

I've seen the devil
He watched me from the bottom of an orange tube only to switch his view finder to something he could swim in

And once more, even now,
As it dances on the end of my blunts

I've met the devil
And I've met the devil many times throughout my lifetime
I've met the devil enough times to identify it by smell, or hearing
Despite it coming with a new assortment of blends, a new chirp every time it appears, and a new look complete with me words
****, at one point, it was me

But I know this Now:
I am not (currently),
Nor will I be ever again,
The Devil.