Mentally I’m drained
And when I say I’m drained
I’m emotionally weak
I’m tired of trying to open myself up to people so they can close down on me
Oh yeah, I’m drained
They play me like tic tac toe
And I let them
I have a father who’s a ghost
And the men I date ghost me too
It’s a pattern I see in men
I can’t love the right one
I can’t view the right one
But I know this because I’m always alone
I sit here and contemplate why I’m not lovable
Why can’t they even see the kindness in my eyes
I wonder if I’m that bad
I want to look from the outside and see what they see
What do I do that’s so bad
Do I breathe weird?
Do I talk to much?
Do I think to much?
It’s a million questions I want to know
But will I ever know?
No

I’m getting older
In an multitude of ways
I can look at my yesterday and see so many things I thought I would have never seen
I fell in love again when I thought I didn’t have anymore love in me
I’m getting older
Maybe he’ll still love me as much as I love him
Im getting older

Green blankets, rising and falling,
Speckled with hues of colors
Stirring with the caress of the wind.
Creatures, like motes, swirl and spin,
Alighting on the life-colors
A brief pause, and they move again.

Sky-cotton moving with ease,
Flowing with a slow river current
Lazily blocking the light from above,
Casting cool relief below.

I stand, amid the tranquility,
Breathing the scent and beauty of Calm.
The ease is reflected in my soul.
I close my eyes...
I open them...

I hear the explosions.
I feel the earth tear and rip.
My comrades, my friends, mowed down like grass.
I see death and chaos,
War and carnage,
I hear the screams of the dying.

My fear dies...

My rage is a growing storm.

Stay with me
Is my love not enough?
Do you know that I love you
When I look in your eyes I feel new
You were my spring
You were the river i flowed with
You couldn’t live for me anymore though
I saw your last breath
I saw that you caused it
I felt everything you felt at that exact moment
Farewell

I got you
You’re mines
I won’t leave

The story I thought I wrote
The story I thought was made was the story that never began
I became the person who forgot how to love
Because all the love was taken
Yet I still have a story to tell
But I can’t speak it
I can’t write it
I just can’t give you my story

He trickled his hand around my heart
He proceeded to pull my heart out
He decided to take it
He played with it and confused the beats
He proceeded to beat it because it didn’t mean anything to him
Then he cut it and said sorry and tried to do it again