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How fitting the autumn leaves fall now
As we sit contemplating the seasons of our lives
Whete even the most confident, ebullient and robust of people
Would consider their mortality
At this juncture in a troubled world

It takes a moment or two, when someone close to us
Puts on their coat and hat, waves good bye
And slips silently from our lives to realise that
The circle of life, of birth and death is a blessing
That we must accept as nature's way.
Hard though it might seem

So should we not be sad now?
Should we not be regretful, tearful nor feel despair
That our loved one has left us for the Summerlands?
Of course we should, it is natural for us
When we love someone we want them near us forever
Regardless of everything.

So as the blanket of leaves surrounds us
Like the trees now, we may feel empty and bare, exposed to
Everyday incidents, bereft and lost in our sadness.
But we need not be.
The ensuing winter is joyously filled with warmth
It is filled with the energy, the good cheer and memories
Of the spring and the summertime of our dear loved one Les
We remember the fun, the laughter the joy he brought to us all
The silly sayings, the actions and the way he did certain things
Any failings he had are not even anything to consider today

His obvious love for all of us will continue, as ours for him
It will live within us because he planted it there
He tended and watered it in the Spring and Summer
So that we can reap the benefit in the harvest
Continue to enjoy his love, his care and his presence
Even now as he returns to stardust from whence we were born

Dad will never leave us. I can feel his spark within me now
He is here in my heart and within yours too.
Take his energy, his joi to vivre
And let his spirit lift you and continue in your life
Then you will not feel so sad nor will you feel cheated
But thankful  you were part of his life
And he was part of yours
He was a special man, we must celebrate his life
As I know he would celebrate with his heart and soul
Through every season and every year to come.
Dedicated to the loss of my Dad, Les. A wonderfully warm, funny, easy going but sensitive man.
I'll miss you Dad, you'll live in my heart forever.
Xxxxx
Have you ever been so close to breaking
That you feel yourself tumbling over the edge
One sudden move and ****
Everything you know is changed
This happened to me a few years ago now
Just when I felt my world come tumbling down
Someone sent me a guardian angel
In the shape of a friend
Now little did I know
That they would become my world

3 years down and i’m crying on the floor
Gasping for air as reality consumes me
She was there
In the form of my guardian angel
Ready to pick me back up
All she did was call
But that was enough
She glued and pasted my broken pieces together
Unlocking the jigsaw of my broken heart
Once again

5 years on she has her own burdens now
Fighting tirelessly through all the crowds
Sleepless nights and bad dreams
Tossing and turning in her sleep
People around yet she feels all alone
All she needs is someone to call home
I take on the challenge
Knowing she needs me more than ever
For I will be her guardian angel
Forever her saviour

Today I sit here
Thinking of how times have changed
One is better yet one still the same
A heart of gold
And a history of shame
The past is there for a reason
My guardian angel is always there for me
As I try to be for her
There will be happy endings and more memories to come
But for now I am happy that I have found the one
Odd boxes,
Patch the room.
Small plates of food
Half eaten, dusted,
With leftover crumbs and papers.
The phone never calls
And shades are drawn for days
Only opening for small, dropping lights
That move in the eves.

I can
Not look at all the photographs I took
Of us
Even though I want to,
Even though they lie
Close to me
With my unmade bed, on the floor
Always falling,
But never to sleep, without you,
Empty.
I'm sobbing into an empty cereal bowl of broken dreams
I'm so hungry :'(
Just another raindrop in the rain
Just another person
lifeless and plain.
Just another drag to take me away.
Just another patient awaiting cancer and pain.
Just another weight to bare
Just another "I don't care"...
Just another wasted life

I can't tell you what it is
Impatiently waiting for the floor to fall from under my feet
constantly worry
about incomplete
can't compete
everything is


obsolete.

Just another raindrop in the rain
it trickles down the window pane
Ever feel relegated?
Trying to climb out of a hole filled with mud.
A relentless pursuit for freedom against an onslaught of forces beyond your control.
Even when the rain lets up and life seems to have turned in your favor.
You’re still in a ****** hole.
Eventually you just become so exhausted.
You start to think that you belong in that mud hole.
That you’re just not good enough to be up there in the light.
You were relegated to that hole.
And it’ll never matter.
You will never matter.
It’s just you and a shitload of mud.
She lies in the ashes, like a phoenix that hasn’t learned to fly.
Colors afire swirl about her reflecting her spirit.
Ever changing in tone and hues, she’s alight with passion.
The rain falls harder the heavier her heart.
And the sun feels like cotton when she is happy.
Mysterious forces pull at the will when she smiles.
A ****** like rush surges to your heart.
Insatiably compelled you feel like you can’t live without it.
I can only imagine.
I can only, imagine.
Something is boiling
Boiling inside of me
Frustration and anger
Or fear of insanity
I hope it's nothing
and
I hope to keep my sanity
But something is boiling
Boiling in me

Tears of sadness
of lost hope and tragedy
Please, i hope
I keep my sanity
My fears are coming
I'm slipping out of reality
My voice is binded
By all your cruelty.
This poem is about all the hidden frustration and anger i've kept all this time. It's directed towards those particular people who don't let me talk or the people who don't care enough to listen what i have to say.
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