God saidst let there be light
And the Filipino queen, lip up the land;
An Asian lampstand.



©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane dedication

Tilt my world upside down
Take me to the fair
Cotton candy almost gone
Clowns do not care

Put me on the wooden horse
Spin me round and round
Up, down, turn it off
Carousel, I am bound

Get me off this wounded ride
No more stop and go
Blurry vision sinking in
Say it isn't so

Tortured mind, black my heart
Cancel out this game
Carousel is not fun
Nothing left to blame

I miss Chicago.

I miss walking everywhere with my best friend.

I wish I had been brave enough to take his hand on those walks.

I miss walking with my puppy to go meet him after class.

I miss the adventures we had, and planning more adventures with him.

I miss splitting pastries and snacks and meals with him.

I miss joking with him, laughing with him, playing videogames with him.

I miss the silly little nudging game we used to play on the couch, on the train, on the bus.

I miss when our stop was near and he would turn back and offer his hand so I wouldn't fall...and he would lead me to the door before letting go.

I remember the first time he held me...I thought I would lose my mind, I thought I would cry, I thought I would die.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel how his hands felt, intertwined with mine.

I miss laying in bed with him, listening to his heartbeat and just breathing him in, his arms around me.

I remember the time he fell asleep, his arms around me, his hands in my hair, his face so close to mine.

I should have kissed him then. Instead, I confessed when he woke...and he listened to me and let me cry for what couldn't be.

I miss when he would take my face in his hands and tell me everything would be alright.

He doesn't love me. Not like that. But dear god I felt loved, oh so loved, those two weeks.