I hear a knock upon my door.
Or was it there inside my head, where only ever dread for the things in life I can't obtain remains; No matter how hard I may in one form or another train?

And so I'll sell a piece of my soul yet again; My price of admission to taste love's glory for but a momentary grin.

With you it was so much different.
My heart is still broke, but my real loss is more than conviction.
I lost my heart, my soul, my vision.
A future bleaker than a demonic prediction.

My mind is racing as I try to relax but thoughts of you come rushing back.

I try to close my eyes to snore but there's always a monster lurking behind memory's door.

And as I recalled I saw my cursed fate,
Always here to be here but never to stay.
I'm airport luggage thrown and lost,
Maybe sought another day.
But I'll still love you through any amount of pain.

I've loved before you but never loved in this way: So full of passion and love for who we both are and could be. I'd marry you now and yet I've never stopped you to say that you're such an invaluable friend, and I'm sorry I can't be okay.

I hate that I'm not only jealous but hurt when I shouldn't feel so deeply burnt by the girl that stole my heart; She's so far beyond my worth.

But she came at night and without a knife she took my heart off it's throne in life, and put it kneeling like she had the key. As if some Divine being that, before we had even met, had my heart beat.

Your love for him is clear even from afar,
And so my heart will beat forever subpar.

So confusing are you truly to me.
The one thing I know is you are the one to whom my soul and heart chose to leave me to be. 

Maybe heartless and soul-less should go hand in hand? Ripped from the body by something far greater than man. 
Something unknowingly more than human, yet divined by human hands.

Ill be content that while I'm still so broke, She can be healed and her love will help her float: And she can finally forgive herself for the wrongs He wrote.

She'll shoulder the pain and strife of life, 
With love beside her every night.
I can be okay but never better,
So I write to myself and you all this letter.

I'm high as a kite,
And just as exposed,
I will never not hear the call of my soul.

Depart away so you can hate me,
And close the chapter of my life called meaning.
I want only for you to be whole.
Regardless of cost, repercussion or role.

My love for you will live until dawn rises untouched by Earth's rock.

Yet ever haunting as a ghost who only ever knocks.

I once thought my goal in life was to remain golden and pure.
And for so long everything I saw only made me more sure.
But now Im alone.

Loneliness enters me like a poisonous mist.
With each breath I take, it amplifies how much I missed.
Missed memories, feelings, people, and more.
How much have I missed while I tried to remain "pure"?

This heart of mine now feels only pain.
Anguish fuels my thoughts, as if my mark of cain.
What I once thought divine only brings more devilish praise.
My heaven turned hell, these intentions set ablaze.

I cannot continue this inner conflict alone.
No man is an island,
No matter how pure.

First one death,
The Old destroyed.
Reborn anew,
Unto two,
Those two combined,
And with it life.

He has read the holy scriptures,
He's learned the myths abroad.
He's lived and breathed among every star,
Yet still He felt so lost.

He's seen the Cosmic Maw,
He's wandered the Abyss,
He's looked under every grain of sand,
But even still,
Somehow He missed.

Until that night,
A blinding light?
This lady?
Nay?
This Heavenly Light?

She extended her hand,
Her smile like a sun,
and embraced this lost creature,
Who had been born on the run.

She was human and more, Broken and healed.
She was a beautiful unknown in a world of guilt.
She was a treasured sunrise over a blossoming world,
She was the most amazing thing I have ever felt, held or heard.

My philosopher's fire,
My alchemical catalyst.

As if suddenly articulate,
I could embrace those around.
I learned of more than survive and drown;
I learned more of myself.

The groundwork finally laid,
With equal parts Her help,
He finally was here to stay.
I could finally live and play.

First one death,
The Old destroyed.
Reborn anew,
Unto two,
Those two combined,
And with it my life.

It's strange.
I've always lived for love.
But you taught me to live for me.
And I only want to do that with you.

Alone you sit,
Right here with me.
But do you see?

I hope you see.

Do you see?
Darkness surround.
Do you see?
Am I at last found?

Do I see?

I do not know.
Creeping in; No ember glows.
The fire fades,
The shadows creep.
Is it just me?
For eternity?

Life was all just theory,
Until you flowed into my life.
Life is now more practical,
Thanks to that shining light.

We parted ways so soon,
But still I see your light.
More radiant than a Sun,
Always brightening my life.

My life is now all practice;
No more theory, fear, or spite.
My life is all the better,
Thanks to that girl:
My Link to Light.

Your love is oxygen in a flooding mind.
Life support denied,
Yet still we try.
A breath of life taken a bit too far,
A breath of might as we fight the world.
The water recedes as love does grow,
Pressures exceed anything I'd come to known,
Encompass me,
Breaking bone,
And as I heal,
I heal surrounded by my home.

I had been just good,
For goodness sake and none else,
Until I met you.

Monkey's Paw,
So tried and true.

My own flaw,
Not so new.

Love is fleeting;
Beauty rests.

Hate is flowing;
Demon's nest.

Down below;
Up above;
All around as we all fall.

Monkey's Paw,
Romantic Truth.

We are all part of a whole,
But you complete me.
We are all in this together,
But you are my partner.
We all survive,
But with you it's life.

A lantern floating in the wind;
A solitary current,
Invisible;
Within.

Fast enough;
Beyond terminator light.
Travel in darkness;
To avoid my sight.

Set adift by malady,
Unworthy...
Is all I see.

Flame inside,
You'd ignite.
Now I float;
Flame curtained night.

Reflect on you;
Flares within.
Most important?
The time we spent.

Forever wishing,
Yearning for more.

Forever now,
My hand unmoored.

The time we spent,
Forever mourned.

C'est la vie,
mi amor.

For rainy days that last a lifetime..
I thought this mask was mine.
The voice that spoke,
So cold and thickly slow,
A defense against the world I know,
A trick so deep,
I myself deceive,
Until you show me
You lifted my burdens,
You shouldered my strife,
And from beneath it came a cry.
The inner voice that spoke white truth,
The one being suffocated since my youth.
The inner voice that screams out love for you...

I was a snake slithering on the ground,
For time untold before I was found:
By some sparkling-haired deity beyond beauty's bound;
I remember emerald eyes within an ocean round,
The warmth of her smile threatened to brown,
The strength of her soul I felt magnetically bound;
Picked me up and healed my legs;
Then with a kiss she flew away.

So now I grow wings,
To learn to do the same.

You taught me my own name.

I'd heard it before, sure,
But never in that way.
You spoke the soul into my dust.
Though you didn't provide it,
My name you read through thick red rust.
My soul had rained for so many days,
I'd nearly forgot it myself here beyond the rays.
Beneath these waves.
The dark blue color a thick, thick haze.
Shrouding me from memories chained.
Pushing me away from whence I came.
Pulling me down beyond decay.
The last thing remaining;
Was just my name.
Nothing else,
Your word provided more than Heracle's belt,
A rusted badge barely adored,
A shadow crushed deep; dark galore,
Yet;
You knew it so well,
From you expelled a truth profound.
When I heard your sound,
I was found.
The rest would come,
But for now...
You had come.








Reached so far down,
A warm smile bright,
My Sun beyond ocean's sky.
A surprised fright,
Somehow,
This Lady...
This Angel..
This Light.
My Link to Life;
To Love.
You're to blame.
You just spoke my name,
And these drops transformed into doves,
Lifting me up beyond darkness clung,
The deep, watery depths that I'd come to know of;
Were suddenly alien,
My name did not know of:
This place I had slept for so long...
Not a word had reached me.
No bells,
No gongs...
But you spoke my name,
And the Universe shook,
Like God herself had descended and took,
Some unnatural impulse to look upon me..
She spoke so softly,















My name.

Black mirror reflects rain-filled skies;
A picture of you,
Just one...
No, five...
An entire album,
And by this time...
The black mirror is flooding from my eyes.

Three years is so long;
I should have moved on.
Three years is so long,
But it's all still so wrong.

Something missing...
Is this a heart?
Something gone;
It's all so dark...

I hear a scream,
Was it mine?
I shake my head;
Black mirror time.

The rain hasn't stopped since you left.
Hidden behind two clouds that seem...bereft?
Raise my head towards the sky;
It's all so dark...
Isn't it day time?

Eclipsed by grief;
Black mirror still shines.
I lower my head,
And return back in time.