I miss you
I miss you like hell
My chest aches in physical pain
The sadness
Its fiery cold grip
It been two year
Two freaking years since I had a taste of your lips
Sweet like antifreeze
I'm trying to remember what made you so special
How I ended up loving you with ever beat of my heart
I said goodbye to you
I regret not holding on harder
You were poison
But you were full of exitment
My figures brushing your skin was enough to send sparks flying
I have some one now some one I love
Someone who is my whole world.
So why do I crave you
Why does it still hurt
Dear John please tell me

when my heart bleeds ink,
and when my pen sheds blood, please
know it's about you.

I am a polar bear
I sit on my iceberg

I don't like hugs , never did never will
But hugging you , I'd ask time to stand still

I also don't like when two mouths touch
But I'd kiss every inch of you , pretty much

Honey is from the same place as bee stings
I hate to look like an idiot or forget things

But I'd happily be an idiot to your eyes
I am a polar bear under the polluted skies

pianos and cellos were my favorite sound
When you talk ,  my new favorite is found


The iceberg will slowly melt
And I the polar bear with what I felt
Will drown to my death

seconds, minutes, hours, days

spent hoping it was just a phase

as his parents sent him to a church where they'd say

"son, you better pray the gay away"

surely this "God" had far more important issues

than a boy in a closet with a handful of tissues

surely this "hell" was a place for far worse people

than a boy forced to confess his sins under a church steeple

I'm falling apart
And no one can see it

I've mastered the smile
The look of ease
Like I have no problems in the world.

The only thing that could give me away
Is the blood
Seeping through
Dripping on the outside
Of my jeans
Of my sleeves.

Everyone is so trained to
Ignore
The blood
That doesn't just stain…
It drips.

And yet
No one even notices.

It's the only sign
That I'm not okay.

That all of the words
They hurt.

That every action just confirms
My existence
As a toy
Solely for pleasing others.

I learned
Long ago
That no one cared
About me.

So why does that hurt so much
Now?

Why should I be surprised
That I'm imploding?

Why should I be surprised
That no one sees it?

The thought of you makes me sick.
Knowing that you're still here,
It feels like you're always at my back.
Like there's whiskey breath down my neck.

I mistake other girls for you.
Wavy dark hair,
Heavy-handed makeup,
I wonder if they regret their faces
Like I do.

In the pit
Of my stomach,
I am empty.
Feasting on whatever
Sweet nothings I can gather.

After you left me,
Hungry.
I am slow to eat,
To sleep...
With a girl
Would be to
Replace you...

I wish

I had never met you.
Every day
I am betrayed
By want.

I lust for
The best of you
And I hate
The rest.

Part of me still loves you.
And that's the part I hate.
I try to abandon her,
But she is relentless.

I reach for lipless faces
And my kisses fall, tasteless.

I look for eyes across a room,
And find my sight
Fades to black.

The crook in my nose
Cracks open.
All I smell is rust.

I cannot face you.

My face goes numb.
My skin is see-through.
People are asking me
If I'm sick.