Face in a crowd,
drawing me in,
music so loud,
voices straining,
trying to reach one another,
two halves of this youthful night,
and for a while
we are alone together
in this crowd.
Our eyes,
the only eyes,
glimmering
in the sea of lights,
speak silent, sweet, nothings.
Our lips,
the only lips
worth watching,
as our heart beats pulse
in time
to the sound of revelry.

She keeps tempo
the back and forth.
Tantilizing conversation.
******* each others psyche.
A dance of words and minds,
thoughts and passions,
sharing wavelengths.
Shes mystifying
logical,
rational,
but emotionally so.
The sapoisexual in me
could never say no.

The people,
places,
words,
and images,
that force salt water from my eyes.
They are what I live for.
The physical evidence
that I can feel again,
that there is a deep well in me,
and a connection to the depth
in those around me.
A reminder that we are alive,
in a world of the most breath taking beauty,
and the most heartbreaking sadness.

I need to go,
just disappear.
Im leaving
to a place of no fear
no memories,
asphyxiation,
or tears.
I may be gone for quite some time,
a couple weeks,
or months,
a year?

When I get back,
with my heart whole,
scars faded
new and old,
I'll smile again.
I'll laugh, and say
"I love you"
to someone new
whom I have come to know.

Let it all in.

Let it all out.

Let it all crash
as waves against the rocky shore.
Revel in the swash.
Exhale, as the surf slips back
to the sea.

This is life.
The breath.
This is suffering.
The ebb and flow.

Rounds in the chamber
fire away.
Numb to the danger
my chest ablaze.
Pull that trigger,
pull me.
Push me,
again and again,
into my shallow grave.

Throw all I gave you
away.
You never were
good
about using my time,
and you had all of that.
Took it for granted
and planted
doubt.

At ten paces
I turned
to your barrel on me.
No hesitation.
Gun me down.