dating a writer
is like guessing the weather.
you think you know what you'll get,
but you never do.

you never know
because

she'll create a hero
from your weaknesses

and she'll write a great character,
from every last flaw.

she'll create a thousand plots  
from your worst nightmares.

she'll take every last thing you hate
and create something you'll love.

she'll turn your anger
into confessions of adoration,

and she'll make you,
everything you're not.

but worst of all,
she'll leave you wondering-
is it you she's in love with,
or things she's created from you?

but here's the beauty of it:

if you date a writer,
you'll never die.

Lay my head on a pillow of sentimental dreams.
Clouded vision, misguided moments.
Nostalgic memories, dispensed endorphinemachine.
Grudges held in high regards,
counterparts the spectrum of emotions experienced.

Token gestures of b r o k e n spirts,
r u g g e d features gold lies within it.

Within movements the snowflake melts in foreign temperatures.
History repeats itself,
things will never be the same again.

A beautiful eulogy,
an anthology of my soul.
Let it speak on the page in a delicate manner.
Channel my essence and bottle my compassion.
Make it happen.

Label it love.

Experience my being in your sensory safe house.
Whisper sweet nothings until they sweep me of my feet.
Hone in on my reason with the precision of multicoloured laser beams.
Lie to my in the format of lullabies.
Blow up my heart, let me be your doormat.
Actively break me, erupt and explode.
Eradicate your thoughts, erase what you were told.

Hang me out to dry -
let the crease decieve you.

Let me take over,
but don't let me defeat you.

I can't find myself in the usual hiding places

Awoken with a sombre tone,
a shattered spine, twisted curling toes.

An empty ink cartridge, grinding cartilage.
It started like this, but it can't go on.

As the bones meet, the pain is no longer discreet,
unbearable, climbing up the walls;
dents made in the wood chip by newly chewed fingernails,
hanging on to prevent the falls.

The desperation to cling on to whatever's left of the self.
The wealth took over you didn't it?

It twisted your mind until it every thought became mangled.
Those drugs you chose to use...
Those spangled moments seem so misconstrued right now don't they now, you idiot?

Nothing happened,
Nothing came true,
No-one came through,
Other than me,
Other than you.

Sleep now as the pain relieves,
it floats away like a helium balloon,
healing the wounds with the secrets you keep:

This is the place that you and I meet.

please please take my diseased body,
exoskeleton broken irrelevance and and put the pieces together,
as a hobby,
to resemble a body,
you own my bones, and my capillaries are filled with foreign grapes,
bottled up, squashed and refined mistakes.
the levee breaks,
how does that **** stained fluid taste,
you druid fakes, robotic flakes, for heavens sakes,
the lessons break my heart.
or at least bends whats valuable into a malleable state.
crossed borders and crossed words,
word search and cross words,
finding me is just a doing word.
the symphony is simplicity, bittersweet or so i heard.
your patchwork, the match works when it strikes the corrugated sides of my insides.
starts a fire inside like a colt 44.
you've heard it all before,
but the sound is so obscured,
prevention or cure, i'm not sure anymore,
the sea shore is so far away,
that lands no longer a plan of mine.
but whenever you're around,
it's steady ground or quicksand.
my minds, mine. abused.
IQ through the roof,
but still sheltered from the storm by you.
born again like i'm passing through,
the ages created by the frustrated players,
of the game of life.  

Tonight, i'll sleep.

If i find you in my dreams then you belong to me.
it's not wrong to be,
in love with you.
it can't be.

why don't you get me?
but you get yourself,
i'm you inside your mind, you're not special.
Mankind is more than you,
but man doesn't exist - other than yourself.

what a pity,
the city is so pretty.
made by those more busy than your idle hands and plans.

your vision -
solipsism,
you won't listen to me who loves you more than you could ever believe,
but i'm not programmed to project my beliefs on the television screen.

they'll never listen.

more fool you.
you're a fool,
fools gold.
been told,
but you still don't know,  
how we grow and how we've grown.

nevermind, nirvana said.
you were never mine, karma said,
lay me to rest in the restless tempress of your best dress and whatever you say, and whatever you said.

what did you say i don't know and i've no idea what you said.
it's black and white, i fell for you like the domino effect.
what did you expect darling?

oh darling. you should know me by know.
i'm the ghost in the clouds that rains down when the conversation drys out.

fluffy and high,
i'll pass by soon,
and the skies will be blue again.
just like you again