My sister asked how I got my scars
That run half the length of my lower left arm
Casually, almost offhand, I asked her why
"If I had cuts like that I'd cry"

"Well little sister, perhaps it's best
If I lay your mind to rest
And say that I was not okay during this time
And we should focus on the present rather than what is behind"

She was satisfied with this, but I was not
My heart burst so hard, like I was shot
I want to protect her from this torturous truth
That "I was not okay" and was tempted to try the noose

More like the knife, I even had a plan
Yet I'm better now, I don't understand
Just like my little sister, things confuse me
Like what's in my head and what is reality

I stalked along an endless maze
Of hallways, grim and green,
Where sterile wards of curtained bays
Masked sickness with a screen.
The coloured lines upon the floor
Served as my silent guide,
And led me to a torture room
Where nightmares preyed inside.

Upon a crisply cornered bed
With sheets up to your chest,
A knot of vein-pumped fluids fed
To keep your heart from rest;
Your eyes were closed and peaceful,
And all pain gone from your brow.
You've never looked more beautiful
Than how you do right now.

I fiddled with the little card
You gifted when we met,
Not knowing then 't would too hard,
Wishing I could forget
A promise made in youthful bliss
When plans were bold and grand,
And giving you one farewell kiss
I let go of your hand.

I never asked to know her name
But if we ever met
I'm sure I'd know her all the same
And still would not regret
The day that life was cruel to us
And tore our world apart,
Yet granted life to her because
You gifted her your heart.

I should have known better than to believe that I had a chance of him ever loving me

The only thing that he ever did was break me

And it was only at the sight of their hands intertwined in the loving embrace that I once dreamed

Of him and me

Now those memories of him smiling is all just heart breaking

And the sound of his voice is all but breathtaking

As these sobs of horror grow stronger in my lungs that grow smaller and smaller

Because of him and me

My heart was tore well before he came to me

Now its just shattered dust of a once beautiful dream

Of him and me

And it seems as if these images of fantasy that grew in my head all just seem so silly to me

Now that there is

And was

No chance of we

I had hoped you were the one to fix

To save

To build

Me into the women I fought so hard to be

That I believed I could reach

Now I know better then to get too high of an expectation of me

And my heart no longer feels as whole as it once did

And this is all because of the fantasy I drew

Of him and me

and after all i still believe
that death is the wrong answer
in this world of multiple choice.