You say a word
and it falls to dust.
Might as well not speak anymore.
Because silence is a much better friend,
and loneliness keeps more company then anyone else ever did.

If you think about tomorrow, you’re halfway there. Hold on.

I pick up the pen
and my mind runs free from life’s chaos.
I forget about the worries that haunted me so,
and a stillness envelops my presence.
If only it could stay like that forever.

I’ve seen Death twice,
stood in his presence as he took those I loved away.
I watched as one took their last breath,
not knowing it’d be goodbye.
I saw another life gone,
door opened,
and an image frozen forever in my mind.
If I could take it all back,
Heaven knows I would.
So as I sit here with each breath,
I remember those two we lost,
and others gone before and after.
A part of me was changed by tragedy,
and with each day life becomes a little more precious.

You don’t care,
and shade is the only thing you give.
I’ve been through hell.
Fought demons that loved it when I fell and failed.
If I was being truthful I never really liked myself half of the time,
and maybe that’s because you threw me away
like I was something you got of bored of.
I’m sorry I don’t fit the mold.
But despite how you made feel,
I’m not going to let it destroy the very essence of me.
I gotten this far,
and I’m still breathing.
Thank God I never stopped.

The smell of a candle
reminds me that I’m still here,
and I’m perfectly okay with that.

I was lost in a world I didn't want to be in anymore.
You were there,
and then suddenly you weren't anymore.
Gone before I could say goodbye.
I was screaming,  
begging for it not to be real.
Because I became one,
and that didn't feel right.
Yes, it hurt every bone in my body,
and I wanted nothing more then to be there with you.
But I couldn't,
and I questioned why,
my heart beating out of my chest.
Then like a flash,
I suddenly woke up.
And I realized it had only been a nightmare.
Even so,
reality set in.  
You aren't really gone,
but you aren't here either.
For that reason,
I live another nightmare I can't escape.
No, this one I can't wake up from.