I am so patient and funny and kind
And that's what you like,
A pretty girl with silly rhymes.
I can be funny and laid-back and free-
You love it so much,
Because that's all you can see.

The moment I know your feelings are more,
I start closing up, exposed on the floor.
Really it's backwards, the way my mind acts-
The less that you know, the more we interact.

When you learn secrets and more of my lore,
I start getting nervous, I start locking doors.
What if you find something you’ll never like?
My heart starts racing, I’m braced for a fight.

I almost can't breathe at the thought of you leaving,
I did it again- and now I’m pre-grieving.
It seems fun to fall when I'm up at the peak,
But I’m close to the ground now,
With a crash on repeat.

I pull back the moment it starts feeling good,
Sabotage sweetness- now misunderstood.
I look for red flags in a forest with no debris,
Inventing ghosts no one’s ever even seen.

I scan for signs you’re starting to sway,
Even when your actions beg me to stay.
Afraid of love that might go right,
So I dim all sparks before they light.

But it's all my mind-
It's not even real.
I have to leave the thoughts behind,
Break the hypnotic seal.

You aren't my past-
We haven't even yet said hello.
You look at me with interest,
But you remind me of letting go.

You never had to make an excuse

I already made them for you

Justifying your careless behavior

When you didn't even care enough

To have an explanation ready