Things move along
before I’ve made up my mind,
a railway over an ocean,
and I’m along for the ride.

Not quite willing,
but also not captive,
expected to go with the flow
and remain well-adapted.

Drivers impatient
and maps outdated,
planning my own route
is slow and underappreciated.

I’m ushered left
and shoved to the right,
an indecisive death-
but I float on alright.

I don’t know that I want
to be on this train,
but I’m already here,
I’m expected to stay.

Walking and talking
should be banned for me,
once I look up,
all new surroundings I see.

Am I the bad guy
for abandoning ship,
when I never said yes,
but I was complacent?

No, I never stay long
but you'll always know where I've been.
You'll hear my favorite song
and feel my presence within.

I've been so many new places,
an extensive list of things to do-
always leaving my traces,
Maybe one day you'll stand in my point of view.

Clover patches spawn on the outside
whenever I show up anew.
Do they remind you of times
when I've lied,
or all the silly dreams I confided in you?

I always seem to leave my mark,
flecks of green where they ought not be.
Bright neons light up the dark,
recentering some focus back to me.

Or maybe it's more of a haunting-
to be reminded of my soul,
to always be found is so daunting
when vanishing fully has been my goal.

What if I don’t want to be remembered?
I want to fade away in the void.
All evidence lost in the embers,
my sounds fading into background noise.

It’s not really me they hold close,
just a version that once was truth-
a humorously passionate nostalgic dose,
forgetting how I’m so uncouth.

I don’t want to be a good memory,
for those I’m trying to forget,
a snippet when I was the remedy
until I only made them upset.

Now I live in signs,
subtly in dreams,
even déjà vu at times-
things aren’t always as they seem.

If I am to be unforgettable,
if I must cross your mind,
I hope the thought is regrettable,
and slowly eats at you for a period of time.

To haunt is to be haunted,
and tortured I have been-
false futures, I’ve been taunted,
clearing caches within.

Never once have I destroyed a
pathway completely,
but this one must come down.
I’m drunk and rambling quite indiscreetly,
and your memory makes me frown.

I hope the thought of me spoils your day,
stirred up from a simple coffee -
looped in remembrance like
cursed decay,
and I the leading zombie.

felt like i lived
and died
for your love
and acceptance
always suffocating
gasping for your words
racked up so many wounds
when you were holding me
since then i wish i could say
that things have changed
oh how they haven't
still waiting for the day
i hear you even softly mutter
that i'm enough

I want to float
without fear of sinking,
daydreaming away,
fully charged vape, no blinking.

I want the water cool on my skin
without all the goosebumps,
without fear of what lurks within.

I want to not think
while I do nothing at all,
but I feel so guilty-
like I’ve dropped the ball.

A lazy river for peace and relaxation,
full of nightmarish currents:
Relaxing is lazy-
No separations.

I want to do nothing
and recharge myself,
but doing nothing feels wrong,
wasteful of time
when there’s people to help.

There’s rooms to sweep,
clothes not put away,
I’m behind on sleep,
and still, somehow,  I decay