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 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Star Reader
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
And I'll look at the sky and search through the stars for validation of this feeling, and when I find the moon I'll think of you and suddenly my heart is reeling,
Do you look to cosmos and wonder where my mind goes when suddenly I am silent?
I'm just lost in your brown eyes hoping you realize that maybe you want this too.
But maybe you won't and I study stars all alone, finding signs that were never really there.
But I've read them constellation for constellation,
Searching for the love we share.
Some nights I find it and others I don't, but I blame that on the clouds, if we can't see it I promise you'll hear it,
My love for you is quite loud.
If you look at the moon
When I look at the moon
Can you feel me?
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
7x7=49
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
It's the first snow during the last year you believe in Christmas magic,
It's the desire to watch the tornado form even though the storm is heavy,
It's 9 am on the first fall morning of your freshman year of high-school,
It's your favorite sweater fresh out of the dryer,
It's the warmth from your mug of coffee radiating to your palms at 5 am,
It's the last laugh at your first slumber party before you fall asleep,
It's the sun creeping over the trees,
It's the sound of your Playstation starting up after a 3 month hiatus,
It's Thursday,
It's orange sun rays warming my skin,
It's a thick navy blue university that you never went to sweater,
It's fuzzy slippers,
It's Holiday themed squishmallows,
It's potato soup that your mom makes on Sunday,
It's cookie dough ice cream at midnight,
It's a warm cinnamon roll in the morning,
It's the number 22,
It's the way that when I close my eyes all I think of is you.
My feelings for you I can't describe,
But reading these instances you'll get the vibe,
It's just too simple to say I feel safe,
But in your arms I've found my place.
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Lonely and craving the feel of touch,
The electricity from skin to skin,
The magnetic pull from eye contact,
The I love yous and I miss yous.

But it's a craving best left unfed
To be touched is to be vulnerable and the electricity shocks my brain, the I love yous and I miss yous make me feel insane,
To look at me too long is to pick apart my flaws, and at the end of the day I'm better alone after all.
I don't know what does it,
I'm ****** in the head
But when I fall in love,
I tear it apart til it's dead
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
I'd keep the walls down but
Everytime I let hope remove the bricks
I take arrows to my chest.

I think it might be best
To keep the concrete high
And nurse my wounds in private this time.
My fingers are calloused
My skin is burned
My thoughts now are malice
From the patterns I've learned
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Skeptic
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Words are magic, and pretty, and gold
They make you feel good, and timeless, less old
But words are just words, though pretty on paper,
And when action doesn't follow, you feel worse later
And magic is hopeful, and helpful, and kind
And my heart hasn't been the same
Since the day magic died
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
August
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
If it's not you, it's definitely me
I'll take the blame, I'll be the bee
You brought a flame, I stung your knee

You started to glow, I watched where you went
I got scared, my anger spent
Now you're injured, and I can't vent
If I was a bee
You were a firefly
You showed me your light
And I showed you the rage inside
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
When I hold your hand
For a second I'm complete
And talking comes so easy
But to listen is defeat.

I need it all at my pace
And it's not fair to you
I know that you'll keep trying
But there's not much you can do.

Trust is a fickle thing
And I didn't realize I had an issue
I'm damaged more than I ever thought
You're a gentle soul and I will miss you.

The patience I require
Is an amount I can't even give
You're better off going elsewhere
You have a whole life to live.
And I can't be your one great love
When I'm not great at love at all
You'll find someone who makes you laugh
And you'll forget me while you fall
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
The room smells good
Until the candle burns out
And now it's just a room again
The flame dances until the wick burns out,
I think our wick burned out.
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
A little girl crying, a little girl lost,
Hush now keep quiet,
Our reputation it will cost.
A little girl laughing, no where to be found, do your chores and stay hidden, don't you dare make a sound.
A little girl beaten, a little girl bruised, relying only on herself, she's used to being used.
A grown woman erratic, her mind is far gone, they snicker and laugh, they don't ask her what's wrong.
A grown woman tired, her eyes all wept out, she's firm in her stance now, rebuking self doubt.
A grown woman angry, unseen for too long, she's sure of her place now, there's bass in her song.
A grown woman fighting, not for herself
But for her little girl, who will never have to know how she felt
 Dec 2024 Jay
Kalliope
Do I go crazy or have I always been here?
Chaos is the comfort, the peace causes panic
None of it makes sense,
Could I be going manic?
I'm craving a quiet mind,
No thoughts, no racing to save the day, But when I find that comfort?
My insides are in complete disarray
And do you think I'm crazy?
Have I ever been okay?
I guess it doesn't matter,
I'll do something crazy either way
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