I grew up without a father,
Yes when my mother remarried I gained a best friend but I never had someone I could trust and call daddy

I felt like you were disgusted by me,
Like everything you hated was all in one person

I used to cry myself to sleep, Thinking what did my sisters have that I didn't that made them deserve your love and not me
And now I realize you don't hate me because of who I’ve become
You hate me because of how I came to be.

Bonding secrets that finally have shown through

You are not my real father,
My mother couldn’t close her ******* legs
My blood boils under my skin coursing through my veins like how the abandonment runs through my heart

I get silence from your end and to many messages from his,
He says he wants to get to know me..
What am I suppose to say?

That I experiment with drugs like I’m a scientist,

or that I have the impulse to search over other bodies as if I was a coroner, rubbing against men and women to fill the void that you are not who I thought you were

Do I tell him how I’m bubbly and loud on the outside to hide the fact that I’m slowly killing myself on the inside
Or that I talk way to fast when Im nervous

But then again you don’t even know those things
You don't know my favorite book or even the color of my hair

This man has shown me more love in the past two weeks I’ve known him, Then you have in 16 years

When you found out you made a promise that I was your baby girl,
That you loved me whether I was your child or not
You kept that promise for 11 years
and then you strung me along with a call here and a visit there
I haven’t spoken to you in 4 months, and haven’t seen you in over a year
I always wondered if something was wrong with me,
you kicked him out of the picture and than you voluntarily walked out

Up to 55 percent of American teenagers live in broken homes
And because of your stupidity i’m part of the 55 percent

I'm jealous of the moon
because she knows all of your 5 am secrets
and your sheets who get to touch every part of you as you fall asleep,
I keep a close eye on this empty pillow
waiting for your weight to keep it warm,

but the sun he is most important of all.
When your half asleep, groggy and painfully unaware of how beautiful you look,
He kisses your lips with light

I have a distaste for star light,
how it gets to shine on the innocence of your smile
As I have to keep you locked away in the darkness of our not-so mutual love.
I may have been just another ******* your schedule but you were my first priority

  I hated that you were the only person who could make me feel beautiful
Whenever you caressed my skin it was as if none of my flaws existed
But as my flaws vanished so did you

The tears tumbled down my face, a grin came across yours

Party
Drinks
A boy
A girl
More drinks
A car
Kissing
***
Silence
More silence
Rumors
Tears
Abandonment
Regret
tears
Sleep
Tears
A girl....
And her suicide...

As the days get colder, My heart sinks deeper and deeper into depression.
“Cut Cut Cut” Is the only words the ring through my ears. I want to feel pain other then my throbbing heart.
Love me...
I see my friends happiness, I see them moving on.
As I’m stuck behind in my own sorrow.
Im lost. Ever where I look I cant recognize.
Love me...
When my family looks at me all I see in there eyes is disappointment.... hatred.
I lay In my bed for days, hoping it will turn into the sea and I will drown.
Love me...
..... Please
Just love me...

Steal a glance my way,
Darling,
You'll never look too long.

And take my missing sleep,
My love,
It'll only make me strong

You can keep a shirt or two
Love of mine,
Just swipe one from my drawer

Rob me of my books,
My pet,
For I can read no more

Take my ridiculous social constructs,
Baby,
They're useless anyhow.

And you can have my money,
My dear,
Don't pay me back, now.

Steal a kiss or two,
Dear love,
But never kiss and tell.

But never steal my heart,
Lover,
I'll never want it back.

I lend you my heart, You return it broken

I'm jealous of the moon
because she knows all of your 5 am secrets
and your sheets who get to touch
every part of you as you fall asleep,
While I keep a close eye on this empty pillow
waiting for your weight to keep it warm, but the sun
he is most important of all.
When your half asleep, groggy and painfully unaware of how beautiful you look,
He kisses your lips with light