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Aug 2015
I grew up without a father,
Yes when my mother remarried I gained a best friend but I never had someone I could trust and call daddy

I felt like you were disgusted by me,
Like everything you hated was all in one person

I used to cry myself to sleep, Thinking what did my sisters have that I didn't that made them deserve your love and not me
And now I realize you don't hate me because of who I’ve become
You hate me because of how I came to be.

Bonding secrets that finally have shown through

You are not my real father,
My mother couldn’t close her ******* legs
My blood boils under my skin coursing through my veins like how the abandonment runs through my heart

I get silence from your end and to many messages from his,
He says he wants to get to know me..
What am I suppose to say?

That I experiment with drugs like I’m a scientist,

or that I have the impulse to search over other bodies as if I was a coroner, rubbing against men and women to fill the void that you are not who I thought you were

Do I tell him how I’m bubbly and loud on the outside to hide the fact that I’m slowly killing myself on the inside
Or that I talk way to fast when Im nervous

But then again you don’t even know those things
You don't know my favorite book or even the color of my hair

This man has shown me more love in the past two weeks I’ve known him, Then you have in 16 years

When you found out you made a promise that I was your baby girl,
That you loved me whether I was your child or not
You kept that promise for 11 years
and then you strung me along with a call here and a visit there
I haven’t spoken to you in 4 months, and haven’t seen you in over a year
I always wondered if something was wrong with me,
you kicked him out of the picture and than you voluntarily walked out

Up to 55 percent of American teenagers live in broken homes
And because of your stupidity i’m part of the 55 percent
Molly Rickert
Written by
Molly Rickert  Casco, Maine
(Casco, Maine)   
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