When I least expect it,
Love will reorganize.

I do my part, I give within,
I assemble myself in mud and rain,
to love all faces happy or in pain.

I include the bad and the good,
and in the tenderness of receiving,
I Love to Love!

Stir not the Ether to serve thy self,
but invoke thine Paradise God's.
Here keep close all thine Thought,
For Salvation aren't easy bought.

Victory cometh for Knights of steel,
those who labor for the Lord only.
Such souls shall not feel O so lonely,
for their treasure is indeed this seal.

O Lord you reign Supreme!

Thou hast birthed a Universe grand,
and brought thine beauty in all man.
Ye love thine babes as mother's do,
yet only thee can love as you O do.

Praise, O glorify Thee!
Thou Pearls are of the Sea.

Hail O Lord,
let thine Name be discovered.
Thy Kingdom come,
and thy Will be done.

The times are so ever changing,
man builds on clouds and sand,
wave by wave he builds o anew,
ever to tie his worn out old shoe.

They call on Me in utter despair,
lungs and stomach can not care,
for roar ye must if thee shall see,
that he thy dog shall bark at Me!

Crave now or ever be thou silent,
for hasten ye must, a dog violent,
he rips thy reason indeed o apart,
for lo he is not thine lovers heart.

Yield O Warrior, find thy strength!
The King calls for thee to guard O!
Crown thine Father to put so high!
Kneel and receive thine initiation.

So be it, for thou walketh O alone,
until ye remove thou heavy stone.
We shall meet along thine journey,
for none can truly try to burn Me.

Adonai...

A Summer's day, I think nay!
Where art the fruits oh to bloom?
Me dwell in a hopeless Church,
to carry my cross, blind I search,
look to your right, look to your left,
surrounded by God's cheerful test.

Mock me oh Father, shatter this fool!
The more he starves the better the cards!
Nay, pray, outsmart it all, never decay!
Fields of violet brushes thy chest,
they soften thy ego and puts it to rest!

Shake me! Crush my illusions evermore!
Turn all inside out, and bless my soul!
Repair the sick and pick out the rotten!
Challenge me, grow me, push me to the limit!
I see, ye test my Strength, how far can I go?
Oh but Lord don't you know, I can't say no?

Finish me! Break this ego apart. Hang him high!
O pain, O cleansing Fire, ye burn the shadows well.
I thrive when you provoke my wickedness!
As you flush with rivers wild my hidden mess.
Lions eat! Digest all flesh, blood and meat!

You Lord and I, in a storm delight,
a battle between the ghost and the Light.

Hear my roar,
******* bitterness,
feel my urges of temptation!

Oh, thou pain of acceptance,
Oh, thou cutting knifes of belonging..
So much for inclusion,
the most destroying illusion!

Have I been fearful?..
I certainly have!
Have I been pretending?..
To the uttermost!

yet, something disturbs me now..

My heart is torn apart,
a seed to arise,
an original to despise.

Growing through the mud here,
pass the lonely towers,
above the cities of void,
unto the edge of the universe,
and further into emptiness!

Only He can accept Me,
Only He can relate to Me,
and as faithful as the morning sun,
I’ll lay my life upon His Alter of Mercy.

Hear my roar,
******* bitterness,
but behold!
I shall drink His water of redemption!

Where are thou, O Childhood of mine?
Did you bury the years of despise and despair?

Anger took the best of me, quiet in a room,
diggin' deep a hole, preparing my own funeral.
I gave up living, while feeding the Demons in my mind,
I went berserk and crazy too, but oh so perfect I behaved for you.
I was a good boy, decent, easy, beautiful and chaotic inside,
my heart closed, a Spirit drowning, yet none could see,
for unfortunately it is but rather normal, that all are "mental".

Oh those years of isolation, I found the virtual and lower pleasures, my only consolation. Friends were gone, a brother out having his fun, and a family blinded by their sickness. O I pitied myself. I wanted to destroy everyone! Hatred grew. Anger raged! Love dead and I truly became a Starving Vampire! I loved the night, I lived in the dark and I could not stand the Sun and I despised the day. I, like the Vampire, needed my blood, the drug to silence the wolves inside.

Divided I was, torn inside, an Angel and Demon fought their Battle, for never did I totally surrender, to a dark and rebellious force, but never did I give in to a light and giving love. Standing with one leg on each side I never did commit, and Truth had to come in a very strong way.

Now, older, yet still a child, I receive back my lonely days. I live the Manifestation of a sick and ignorant mind, and I walk through the isolation of a desperate soul screaming to connect and participate in the World.

Hope is ahead. I am re-minding my mind to remind itself of who I AM and that such silly desires to exclude myself of a World and Civilization is nothing but destructiveness and childish ideas. I welcome my Childhood, as it lives in each of us, burning to break free and rediscover itself beyond a child's ignorant mind. I begin to see with the Eyes of Spirit and I re-embrace it all in the Name of Freedom and Mastery.

Healing. Liberating. Mastery. Responsibility. A New Chance and New Beginning.

Adonai!...

Anxieties are present;
a constant fear of confrontation.
Memories old and future untold,
expecting a scene that lives in me,
a fight, a showdown, only for me,
to test my Man and be fearless.

Waiting now for a fight,
honestly it brings me fright,
young and pure I once was,
now facing the dirt of the night.

It's not that I want to fight,
but the fear of elimination,
and destruction of the body,
I want to overcome,
and be so courageous.

What's in store, I do not know,
I keep my heart close to Truth,
something greater than a battle,
is the Love that I can Be.

Fight or not,
it matters little,
but fear is fear,
and wants Love little.

A Man I am,
for boys don't cry,
in facing their fear,
they open their eyes,
looking into the fear,
knowing it little,
yet strong they stand,
for fearless is the Man,
who walks this Land,
free and tall,
yet all with Love.

And Love I AM,
and always will be.