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MeanAileen Mar 2017
I try so hard
to do it all,
I try to measure up
to your standards.
I've done the best
that I know how,
but I guess my best
just isn't enough
for you.

I've compromised...
...I didn't do it right.
I've sacrificed...
...I didn't do enough.
I've given everything
that I have to give,
but I guess my all
just isn't enough
for you.

I'm losing my will.
I've lost all pride.
I've forgotten how
lovely it feels
being happy...
But you don't care.
Why would you?
I don't mean enough
to you.

Maybe if I try harder,
and break a little more...
Maybe one day
I will be enough
for you.
My only non-rhyming poem...
MeanAileen Mar 2017
It's my best friend,
and my nightmere-
it's all that I love
and everything I fear.
It's my fulfillment,
my bottomless sorrow-
bringing dark thoughts
of no tomorrow.
It's my strength,
my greatest plight-
this evil addiction
I try to fight.
It's my oblivion,
my heartbreaking pain-
a toxic cloud
that's killing my brain.
It's my protection,
my paranoid lies-
the Devil himself
in crystal disguise.
It's my sanity,
my endless strife-
this methamphetamine
destroying my life.
It's my reality,
my make-believe bliss-
I just never imagined
I would end up like this....
Truth be told....
MeanAileen Mar 2017
Tear drops falling
drowning in sorrow
wipe away each one for me~
Just keep me laughing
today....tomorrow
spare me form this misery~
Just some sad words...
MeanAileen Mar 2017
YOU
YOU hurt me in ways
like no one else before,
cutting me deep-
right down to the core.

YOU beat me up
without lifting a hand,
reminding me exactly
where I stand.

YOU love to **** with me
building my hopes-
making me the ****
of all of your jokes.

YOU shove your money
and life in my face,
finding it funny
that my life's a disgrace.

YOU give me your love
just to rip it away-
an unworthy pawn
in the game you play.

YOU think that I'm ugly
I'm well aware,
to all the others
I just don't compare.

YOU treat me like I'm
a worthless ****,
barely good enough
for you to ****.

YOU boldly look me
straight in the eyes
and feed me so many
******* lies.

But please don't stop,
I love it this way!
Choking on every
cruel word you say....

For I am too spineless
to ever stand tall,
and I'd rather feel pain
then nothing at all.
I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess....
MeanAileen Mar 2017
i know heartache
but this.....is more
painful punishment
never felt before...
a ruthless torment
my heart blighted
damage derived from
love, unrequited
It hurts....
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I am warmhearted and icy cold,
with a pretty face that's getting old.
I am fragile yet tough as a man,
struggle thru life with no real plan.
I am petite and cuss like a trucker,
slightly naive, but I'm no sucker.
I am a sinner with a halo of gold,
an open book with secrets untold.
I am a hypocrite but always play fair,
a bleeding heart and I don't care.
I am a mother who acts like a child,
crazy, impatient and easily riled.
I am spontaneous and I am a bore,
forever forgiving, I still keep score.
I am unstable and wonderfully wise,
a ****** deviant in sweet disguise.
I am creative and self-destructive
naturally skilled and unproductive.
I am shy and I am outspoken
with a heart of glass, easily broken.
I am awkward and well refined,
lost, insightful and a little love-blind.
I am respected and I am addicted
shamed by burdens, self inflicted.
I am a perfectionist and I am a slob,
unbiased and shallow, an inept snob.
I am nocturnal, a creature of night,
blissfully ignorant, typically right.
I am cautious and I have no fear,
a loser and quitter, still I persevere.
I am brilliant and easily amused,
over-zealous and under-enthused.
I am impervious with wounds to heal,
a habitual liar just keepin' it real.
I am witty and weird and mean-
I am what I am.......100 Aileen.
A lil bit about who I am...
MeanAileen Mar 2017
I've decided I'm through
I simply want out,
please give back to me
my life.

What I'm saying is true
I have no doubt,
I never want to be
your wife.

You've caused me much pain
given me such grief,
you alone have broken
my heart.

Things will never be the same
I now live in disbelief,
as promises you've spoken
fall apart.

I've taken all a woman can
of your heartless ways,
as my single remaining dream
has died.

You insecure and selfish man
with your jealous craze,
You're not at all what you seem,
you lied.

I gave to you, my everything
it was never enough,
always wanting much more
from me.

I can not go on pretending
so I call my own bluff,
what tomorrow has in store,
I'll see.

In this relationship I only gave
never once did receive,
the sweet love and attention
I deserved.

I will not be your heart's slave
so today I must leave,
this hateful facility of detention....
time served!
This is old, but I've always liked it...hope you do too!
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