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  Jul 2018 Matadi
D
I want to write so badly
hurts with every line I delete
write about how it hurt this morning
when I woke up alone
when I fell asleep
with someone next to me
  Jul 2018 Matadi
yúyīn
Cut me open and let all the ink run from these veins,
until my words bleed dry, and only blank pages remain.
Creds to someone on vent .. I just can't remember who .. Sigh
  Jul 2018 Matadi
sadsalt
us.
I was drowning
and you were the water
all your waves
pushed me under
until i possibly
could go any deeper
into the mess, that
i called us.
Matadi Jul 2018
She
Held Captive in my mind
Calculating each step
Thinking of the last time i wept

Forces me to fight
Fight for flight
You kiss me, you love me, you need me
I left and ,you grieved me
Im not the one
Believe me

Lost heart , Broken soul
you've tried to stitch them together
you're not her you know
I'll never look into your eyes and see your true soul
I'll never think of you being better than gold.

She left me empty and cold
so many pages to unfold
She left me on this road
Yes you picked me up
But i'll still have to go
#LOVE #HEARTBREAK #DENIAL #PRESSURE #PAIN
Matadi Jul 2018
The struggle is real
So I've been told
The homie told me yesterday
Licks had to be made
eating with our enemies
sleeping with the Devil
But, Expect them not to be evil
Broke ***** on the strip
Gay Brothas Suckin ****
**** ***** licking *****
***** is you really gay
Or need a sponsor for your ******* kid
Now tell me aint that some ****
Everybody wanna be sucka free
so we say the sweet lovers just thirsty
the dog nighas Got flex game see
Pipe it up , Shut it down, Light it up
Smoking loud in big crowds
Crazy girls and wild ******
Broke ******* styling and profiling
Living in hotels and wiling
For that dolla , she'll let you holla , hit and even spit
Matadi Jul 2018
Voices and dark shadows
they follow my every which way
Demons wont leave me
they beg me to misbehave
I've been there and done that
That bridge not meant to be crossed
cant turn back now
felt the heat and fire behind me
suffocating and gasping for air
i clinch unto my locks
as strands drizzle down my breast
Darkness bestowed upon me

i attempt to move ahead
Speed up just a bit
just to feel alright
blinded by the light
Hindered by wall blocks and mountains of stairs
I'm not free

Lost in captivity of self
Self worth
Self Loathe
Self Awareness
Self Growth
Love yourself , The world is cold  
Not everyone is your Woe ,
Yet More like a foe
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