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Matadi Apr 2021
Pull out my chair,Open my doors
Hold me close when i am so cold
Wipe my tears, show me you care
Love me tenderly when i feel that noone is there

Bring home the bacon , to make sure we are fed
Never be mad when we go to bed
My besfriend and lover
with all this weight tell me i need no cover
And let’s misbehave
Matadi Jul 2018
Voices and dark shadows
they follow my every which way
Demons wont leave me
they beg me to misbehave
I've been there and done that
That bridge not meant to be crossed
cant turn back now
felt the heat and fire behind me
suffocating and gasping for air
i clinch unto my locks
as strands drizzle down my breast
Darkness bestowed upon me

i attempt to move ahead
Speed up just a bit
just to feel alright
blinded by the light
Hindered by wall blocks and mountains of stairs
I'm not free

Lost in captivity of self
Self worth
Self Loathe
Self Awareness
Self Growth
Love yourself , The world is cold  
Not everyone is your Woe ,
Yet More like a foe
Matadi Aug 2018
I see my reflection in you
watch your pain as you smile
dry your eyes when you laugh
I complete you
The desire to be absorbed by my presense
You complete me
The desire to be absorbed by your presence
You intrigue me
The urge to run ,hide and push away as i warm your heart
Felt like love from the start
Unexplained connection
With morning thoughts of warm embrace
Friendship or love
All in the same
Intertwined by Lust, Desire,Passion and Fear
Love me tenderly cause you're my Big Fat Giant Bear
The bigger they are the harder they fall
But what if we fall and i am so small
Will you catch me
Matadi Apr 2021
unknown desires
I want more of what I dont see or feel
I yearn for a love I’ve never felt
Happiness, I’ve never dealt
Matadi Apr 2020
I died when you walked away
Not figuratively, but literally
My entire being
You  ripped me from the inside out
I search each day for my heart you stole
But I don’t want it back
Please keep it
Hold it close
Remember me , the girl that never let you go
I need you , I breath you
Every tear I shead is because I need you  
If you leave me I will put on that red dress
But for who , not you
What am I to do
I love you, I need you
Matadi Jul 2018
Don't look back, i told myself
you wont remember her tomorrow
forget about yesterday , cause today is not promised
She doesn't love you
You dont need her

They say the best way to get over someone
Hell girl get over , Here girl
I dance the night away with a stranger
Felt like my soulmate
She doesn't know my name or my fears

Wraps her arms around me
Felt like i belonged
Took her home
Drunk ***
not always the best ***, or was it
Still drunk from last night
Looked over, it was my ex lover
Matadi Jul 2018
i give her the impression that she's my every desire
Though i'm neither here nor there
I travel between universe
Feeling emotions transpired through you
Through them

I am energy
A force that cannot be Confined
Matadi Apr 2021
i am my own enemy
stared in the mirror as i poke at every visible flaw imaginable.
Matadi Aug 2018
Here goes my heart laid in your hands
Beating rapidly as blood drips from each vessel
I give to you all of me with no fear and lack of precaution
Take me as you will and do as you please

Unaware of your Character
Naive by choice and free will
I foolishly deny the signs of..
The lack there of

Here i am, open armed and bared heart
willing to be shredded in pieces
If they knew, they wouldn't believe this
I'm foolish, Not foolish
Matadi Jul 2018
Those honest eyes and lying lips
grinning through your teeth
broken promise you never keep
penetrating my entire being like Kryptonite
For you i am weak
While you stand immune to my every touch
My entire existence

What was once love turn into lust
Impeccable how my soulmate was never fate
Imagining your fingers intertwine with mine
You reach deep and tug quickly
the pieces left of my heart
Empty and hollow
Prepared meal gone unswallowed
I've tried not to wallow
Matadi Apr 2021
You idiot
You moved to fast
Gave it up before you blinked
Running shouting you a ***** with class
Give  your soul, for a pretty smile
What was the goal
Trust you didn’t build
Now you got guilt
Hoes get down on the flo
Well did you?
Did you get low
Are you a *** or a *****
Did you give or take the ****
Matadi Apr 2021
She said gave me a kiss babe
I love you, see you in a few days
Waited a few days
To find that you’d be gone forever

She wore a shirt,her favorite
If you love me,let me sleep
So should I not weep
I feel so weak
Love at first sight
Lost on her last flight

Cayla Hargrove you will forever be missed and love

Beautiful beautiful soul of an angel
How can i let you go
Your spirit and energy still linkers
With in me ,around me
You are all of me
I live for you,you died on me
Matadi Jul 2018
Last night i got drunk
To forget you , the pain, my pain, the pain
Today ill get drunk
To forget the ache in my chest i feel
ill say it's cuz i need to rest

The silence of my thoughts eating inside of me
Gasping for air, Internally
I am falling,Deeper and darker
a hollow cave , filled with rage
Im empty, I feel the echos within me

I am empty, Empty as the echos in my heart
So afraid of the dark
Matadi Jul 2018
Introverted Social Butterfly , stepping out her cocoon. Kiss me now you silly Baboon
Matadi Aug 2018
Unexplained Connection
Unexpected, Infatuation
Adoration ,Admiration
Intellectual stimulation

You Complete my demons
Being not of this universe
My kindred spirit
Flesh of my flesh, Bones of my bones
Inflicted Wounds from your absence wont leave me

With you, you complete me
Humorous soul, tickle my belly
something like peanut butter and jelly
Are you thinking of me, like i do you
Matadi Jul 2018
She has this way to her that makes me snarl ,when she laughs
The kiddish manners just ***** every juices accumulated
Her laugh make me gag..but yet I smurk
Not because of her outer beauty

This lady, well defined by her grace
Painted nails and curvy hips
She kisses my neck , I quiver
She desires to intimately be embraced by me
Gentle strokes,I Submit

She use her lips to control my hips
*** ...this immaculate yet unexplainable trance
She take control as I beg for more
She could be a keeper

Lips pressed against my breast
Make love softly till I rest
i steer clear from this word love
as if i never felt your static touch
Matadi Aug 2018
Lonely not lonely or maybe
History, HerStory
Reasons why i Choose alone, but not lonely

Everything is everything
Pretending to feel heavenly
Beautiful disasters
Hearts racing faster
Walls closing in
body feeling drained
Hearts feeling ******
Running outta luck
Matadi Apr 2021
Your wifey she said
The kind I’d come home to every day
Work hard for ,give my check to ,just so you’re okay
Yea you’re independent,just have my baby
You cook good meals ,just like a lady
Well the way my lady should be
You hold your head high like the queen bee
But see   You ain’t ready for me

Imma **** boy
Play with your heart like a toy boy
Like a guitar with no strings
******* good ,you won’t know what to think

See imma call you baby
Treat you like a lady
Look you in the eyes and say this the only place I stay the night
**** **** , **** your calls, wanna text ..that’ll be your best move
Give me a minute,imma get back to you
Love on you good ,but leave you
Matadi Aug 2018
You get me, more than i know
At-times so unappreciative
So unaware and blinded by doubt
My shallow thoughts travels like lighten

You are my friend and lover in both
Yet i will not utter those words to complete you
Selfishly i maliciously plot to have All of your being

You lack the traits to complete my structured mind
I desire stability, though i love your agility
Matadi Jul 2018
Tell me what I wanna hear
Tell me that you really care
Spank me baby,pull my hair
I don’t care, I don’t care

They say love just isn’t fare
I’ll love you long like she’s not there
All of me is here to bare
And when you flee,I’ll still be here

Your wife for life
Well life is trife
Make love to me,but please do flee
Your wife awaits, come back I’ll wait

The way you get them
Is the same way you’ll lose em
I’ll have your gold and lots of gems
Perhaps a house,brand new whip too

But I’ll never have you.
Matadi Jan 2020
She walk around with an “S” on her chest and a blade in on her tongue
Kisses so soft and words to break me
Promises she never keeps, yet laughs when I weep
What am I but a puppet
Constant forgiveness I provide

ASleep to my pain ,so I sleep through the rain
My only peace is silence
Isolation creeps deeply as I’m left in the dark gasping for air
Your hand ,to reach beyond the surface

Trying to forget your words

Bypassing this, the hurtful words
I struggle to relate while unknowingly
It’s self infliction! How dare I blame you
Why not blame you ?

You pull me close with Sorry Sorrys

And again, those words
They put me in a space of emptiness
I am Alone
You are you and I am Me once again
Matadi Aug 2018
Racing thoughts
road blocks, Brain farts
Words that just wont come out
Feelings that makes me want to scream and shout
Fuss and Pout
Endless thoughts of ...
Endless feelings of...
We stay strong for shelter
Though love leaves no love, in cold weathers
smile well..O well
You 'll be just fine
You'll love what yours
But even more of whats mine
Matadi Aug 2018
Pump up your chest and reject me
I'll come back harder, You wont forget me
Give me a chance you wont regret me
How will you know if you reject me
Just show me love and respect me
Matadi Jul 2018
Though i'm not pretty , at least im witty
Though i'm fat, atleast my house don't have roaches and rats
Talk bad if you want, But imma clap back
Why would he want me
Cuz only dogs want bones and my *** is phat
Matadi Aug 2018
Close mouths ,don't get fed
Broken hearts, share their beds
lost soul linger, endless roads
Empty hearts, ends up cold

Mean folks are the bold
Ugly folks beautiful soul
Black or white
White is right
She
Matadi Jul 2018
She
Held Captive in my mind
Calculating each step
Thinking of the last time i wept

Forces me to fight
Fight for flight
You kiss me, you love me, you need me
I left and ,you grieved me
Im not the one
Believe me

Lost heart , Broken soul
you've tried to stitch them together
you're not her you know
I'll never look into your eyes and see your true soul
I'll never think of you being better than gold.

She left me empty and cold
so many pages to unfold
She left me on this road
Yes you picked me up
But i'll still have to go
#LOVE #HEARTBREAK #DENIAL #PRESSURE #PAIN
Matadi Jul 2018
I am from Liberia, some where in Africa
Where the chicken crowe before sun rise
Walking miles for drinking water
ladies sing in groups as they harvest their crop
fishers in group sit with brew, down by the dock

Mothers go hunting daily, kids ask what you got
A land of unity and survival
Where everyone is our sister, and your father is my brother
Matadi Jul 2018
Pretty girls don't cry
Guess with all the makeup how could I
Ladies don't drink
Guess with all my pain ill just Take your man
Sober
Cuz i'm pretty right?

Stereotypical Diva, She too quiet
Guess she stuck up
She's gotta be a ***, why she always lucks up?
Sugar baby,Slays
Waist training made her that way

The world is insecure
Lots of pain that we endure
reflecting judgment on others, to forget our demonic flaws
Matadi Jul 2018
The struggle is real
So I've been told
The homie told me yesterday
Licks had to be made
eating with our enemies
sleeping with the Devil
But, Expect them not to be evil
Broke ***** on the strip
Gay Brothas Suckin ****
**** ***** licking *****
***** is you really gay
Or need a sponsor for your ******* kid
Now tell me aint that some ****
Everybody wanna be sucka free
so we say the sweet lovers just thirsty
the dog nighas Got flex game see
Pipe it up , Shut it down, Light it up
Smoking loud in big crowds
Crazy girls and wild ******
Broke ******* styling and profiling
Living in hotels and wiling
For that dolla , she'll let you holla , hit and even spit
Matadi Jul 2018
I am not myself
I am not myself
Too angry to cry , Too happy to smile
Too tired to sleep,to weak to eat
Too syked to dance, Too loved to romance
Too lost to be found
Matadi Apr 2020
She held her head high as she walked Away
Never looking back
I imagined her kissing my lips
Perhaps my neck
Idk but the **** felt right

I called her bae but she was like my wife
I needed that love , cuz I had nothing like her right?
See bae was a boss , I let her call the shots
Super cute tho , but it wasn’t all bout that

She was bout money . I was bout love
Different love languages,I prayed to the lord above.
I couldn’t lose her, so I lost myself instead
Matadi Apr 2019
Yesterday was never promised
i loved you with my every heartbeat
but yet i still feel the defeat
your warm kisses gone cold
remind me of the words you scold
The laughters we shared are now covered by tears
endless fears bruised bodies and broken souls

Remembering yesterday's happiness are today's sorrow
may i borrow your heart please
i've forgotten the way you love me
may i use your eyes to envision the way you look at me
for i feel frill and weak
unloved and undesired

where do we go from here
how do i turn away
you were like a mirrior
someone i hold dear
love is as temporary as a butterfly wing
bold and beautiful, yet so fragile to hold
Matadi Jan 2020
My enemy , my lover, my friend
Till the end
My heart I mend , you break it
But till the end so my heart I will mend

Broken glasses, locks that Nolonger shut and tears that Nolonger dry
I am empty
You left me with a space of darkness
Searching for love to harness

Could it be you I am searching for
The one I adore
You said you’d catch me if I fall
But you never did
Made my image fade

In a Dark space , deep emotion soul
No one to hold. Like the dark colored clothes I fold
How dare you
My strength. My beauty, you said you’d be good to me
Matadi Jan 2020
Id say i love you , but id be lying
Something about the way yu make me feel
keeps my mind racing constantly
wondering your where abouts
what are you doing, are you okay
how is your day
do you think of me when your'e in a filled room
Does our distance affect you
Does my smile warm your heart enough to see it again
Matadi Jul 2018
Write they say
just put it on a piece of paper
Let it all out
noone need to know

I've tried, writing my tears in ink
Stared into the mirrior
Smeared makeup and shattered dreams
Stained sink and strong *** drinks

Broken Glasses, Pretty face with big assess
See!! i cant ...Fathom the thought of being alone in my thoughts

— The End —