Sometimes I think No way this world is this cold I withhold my tears And I stay on my throne Old enough rule, Yet still time to grow Give me a chance, To fit into my shadow
I feel as though something is holding me back I'm arms are weak My mind is heavy Someone get me some meds stat Sick of this world Sometimes it gets of messy A life given, Can be deadly Eyes wide, mind unsteady But I pull out my wings to takeoff like Lite Gear I am my only fear Yet, I steer my way And tell the haters I'm not afraid
They say the sky's the limit But I dream higher Caught up in between Saints and Liars, Makes me believe; The devil is in fact here, compromise ya My tears **** down like the Open Sea Used to cut myself open and see how much I bleed Thinking disappearing would set me free Like Heaven Was supposed to be my destiny Yet Destiny is what you make it, There is no luck You put in the hours and commit Or spend the rest of your life digging a ditch
This is the edited version of my rap, tell me what you think and I'll make some changes :-)
Love To Hate A piercing scream Only I can hear The sound of a suicide attempt within my hemisphere Windows abroad Clawing my skin to the screams of why so serious?
Withholding aggression - having a glass within reach I cannot get more excitement out of the thought of throwing it at the ground of someone's feet
A single tear for the 1sec I willfully give Pale white Feet Clashing against a white window sill Only the depth of the world's finest pavement cracked within the ripples of my skin Only then will this be real
Preaching to the already dead Of how the sun rose once The next day she never came into work ******* the very breath out of everyone's lungs
Single tears never falls once fallen Gripping onto nothing but the thoughts of concrete "Why do you hate your life, Mental health professionals ask?"
On the solid embankment of her head lies a stretched out wire hanger For her thoughts individually hung The young girl who is 40 going on 13 Looks like a goddess, Although slower than a turtle Slurs out "I only love to hate you*..."
Holding back my tears Seeing my world go by, Trying not to cry on the edges of hell No more sweet lullabies Sounds of trains passing in my head, could this be Freedom? Or schizophrenia instead... Laying in my bed wishing I was dead contemplating between pills and trigger Who have I become? I hold shame before myself in the mirror I admit I never actually faced my fear I wonder if it is time to shed a tear... Just one or two Perhaps then the mind of me won't be so blue
This is a poem I wrote about my daily life with mental illness
Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you
I find comfort in forever wherever it may be I may have left my home but it will always stay with me The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain On constant playback every second deep within my brain
I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow
Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep Another pill, another high, another date to keep If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through
I used to think bright blue eyes and long blonde hair was my weakness But it turns out it was your blue eyes and your blonde hair that made my knees drop made my heart flutter And now All I see is you When the others stare and their dull blue eyes don't light up my room And the smell of their skin doesn't help me sleep doesn't make me feel safe Your eyes are torrential downpour into my soul drowning all that I was Leaving a changed woman stranded in my place
5/1/2016 Not that I've given any a chance. I am still so repulsed by the idea of a mans touch..