My beliefs do not matter tonight
To believe or not to believe?
This is no time to start a fight.
Faith in love on this silent eve.

I do not celebrate it as the saviors birth
I have nothing against those who do
For me tonight is about family first
Talking about the year we've been through.

I do not say I'm celebrating Christmas
It is not my place to take your holiday.
It is a chance to calm and destress
A time to love and put hate away.

I'm just siezing the opportunity
My family together for their Lord
I come along for peace and unity
I know that love will be assured.

The year gets to be demanding
This is a time to release and relax.
Religious or not, it's outstanding
Serenity of the world off our backs.

So to all I wish you love and happiness,  
A silent night free from worry and fear.
May your mind be free from craziness,
full of merry,  and have a happy new year.

"The last time I broke someone's heart"

It was stupid;
It was staring at the night sky
Covered with rainclouds and lightning
Patiently waiting for a falling star
Despite the chaos we were in

It was reckless;
It was breaking the traffic rules
Heedlessly beating the red light
It was choosing to drive forward
Even when I knew it wasn't right

It was foolish;
It was picking up fragments of glass
Trying to mend what couldn't last
It was getting my hands scarred by trying to grasp
What I know I couldn't have

But in the end, it was selfish;
It was choosing happiness over pain
Because the last time I broke my heart
Was when I chose to never let anyone break me again

"What is your greatest fear?" a teacher asked me.

"Darkness," I answered, and almost everyone in the classroom laughed.

"Why are you even afraid of the dark? You're not a kid anymore," one girl said aloud and the teacher told everyone to keep quiet.

I sit as my greatest fear is slowly trying to eat me.

It's not the kind of darkness they think it is. It isn't the darkness that consumes the light that I'm afraid of; it's the one that's in my mind. And they wouldn't know.

I'm afraid whenever that pitch black of nothingness is trying to get in my being. That darkness that makes everything go upside down.

And why should I be afraid?

I'm scared that slowly, by time, I'm getting comfortable with it. I'm afraid that one day, seeing light wouldn't be an option anymore. I'm afraid that one day, darkness will completely consume me.

But it doesn't matter anyway. You already gave your laugh.

---Thalia Bautista; darkness

She was art.
You wanted art.
Too bad I was just an artist.

I like to beautify things. When I write my notes, I'd always put colors in them. I'd always trace the letters to make them look like calligraphy.

I like to beautify things. When I see unorganized thoughts on my notebook, I'd weave them together and sprinkle some new ideas and turn them into poetry.

I like to beautify things. If someone feels bad about something, I'd tell them the things that are beautiful about them. I'd tell them that they are enough. I'd make them smile, until they laugh, because that is beautiful.

I like to beautify things. Even though he makes me sad at night, I'd still look at his pictures and somehow, they make me feel okay. I like to beautify sadness. I find ways to distract the demons. I grasp his photograph and stare at it until I fall asleep.

I like to beautify things — things, people, feelings, emotions. I don't like seeing anyone feel less beautiful. I don't want seeing something less beautiful. Maybe it's because I lack beauty, and seeing others being beautiful somehow fills the gap.

I like to beautify everything — everything but myself.

—Thalia Bautista; Why am I not beautiful?

Like a thousand nights before I'll sit here
with music in my ears.
Thinking of you, what could have been...
What should have been?
No, if it should've than it would've but it wasn't, so **** it.
But I can pretend.
I can imagine,
I can dream.  
My thoughts drift away and suddenly I'm someone else
in a land far away, living a different life.
Slowly events unfold of stories untold
and I'm lost living a life inside.
Behind my eyes I've lived hundreds of lives
with no one to judge me but myself.
Yet you're here to make another appearance.
No matter how far I run,
I just can't get away.
So, here we are again.