Lostling

Lostling Feb 10

Rest did not come find me last night
Instead I laid wide awake staring at the ceiling

Now exhaustion sits on my shoulder
Smirking and taunting me

So I pop a coffee sweet
Bitter alertness rolls over my tongue

But exhaustion returns, a sly fox
Dragging my eyelids down, stealing my strength

So I take another sweet
This one just as bitter as the last

The day crawls by and once again,
The wold is getting fuzzy…

Another one swallowed
And soon, I’ll need to buy a new supply

(As sleepless nights siphon from my soul, caffeine’s the tape that keeps me whole. At least just for the day)

#coffee #sweets #sleepless #tired #sleepy #caffeine

Lostling Feb 10

You are my heart; my home

I fear not the freezing nights on my lonesome
Nor the sad return to an empty house
Nor the burn of the blazing sky
Nor the voices berating
(They don’t exist)
Nor the dark

Why?
For you are here
To save me from myself
And take me to another world
One where we can live in our memories
Memories we call safe, and safe is what you are

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble there's no place like home!— John Howard Payne

To me, home isn’t a place, it’s a person.

#home #family #protection #love #safe

Lostling Feb 10

Nothing’s New

Stuck in a time loop
Of endless days with only false ends in sight
Filled with papers
That cut me up and down
Till I’m once again a coward
Wanting the easy escape
Just to break the cycle
Just to make the pain stop
Forever

I hate school and I don’t know what to do.

(Though time may pass and sessions change, it wavers not, this lasting pain)

#timeloop #escape

Lostling Feb 10

Graduation

The day I watched the fire die
Only once did my tears fall
But I knew that once the moon was neigh
I would answer sorrow’s call
Despite the embers that remain;
Pathetic wisps go hope
I know it’ll never be the same
As I clutch this rotting rope
I think the walls rate closing in
But maybe it’s just me
The emptiness hurts from within
So suffocatingly
I guess this is the place where we
Have no choice but to part
In the future I hope I’ll see
Us in each other’s hearts
Till the next time we can meet, friend,
I’ll save a seat for you
Though many faces are fleeting
You’ll stay one of the few

This was literature homework =P

(Emptiness this loss does bring,
And so the pain I shall now sing)

#goodbye #graduation #parting #friend

Lostling Feb 7

Peace at last

The silence is my only friend
The one whom I yearn for to sit with me
In quiet nights alone in bed
And like hushed snow drifting down
Silence comes along, a ghost
Tucks in all my thoughts
To bed
Till they wake the next day

I wish my brain would shut up or at least slow down at night

(My thoughts and dreams, they’re racing still
As I sit on my window sill
And watch the sleeping world)

#thoughts #sleep #insomnia #night #awake

Lostling Feb 6

Am I too much?

My smiles and hugs
My fears and funs
My joys and jumps
I mix

Into my *** of caramel, the warm sugar fills the air
I'd serve it all to you, my friend

But then I remember: you're sick of jt
To sweet for you, you said

The *** of caramel sits
On the stove
Cooling

Tonight
I'll eat it all alone
Or maybe it'll go into the bin again

Words that no one wants to hear, died on the tongue, held back by fear

(Also this is the second version. For some reason I got an error and lost the original when publishing T.T)

#overwheling #toomuch #holdingback

Lostling Feb 6

Tired

I might close my eyes
Let darkness consume my world
Please… just take me home

I need a break

#tired