you were my secret
my late night thoughts
my hidden glances
his hands were on my body but i only felt your absence
heartache is unexplainable when you trap words inside your stomach
digest them and oppress them
become an empty void of unsaid apologies
i never wanted to swallow you
or this
or us
but you became my secret
you became my what ifs
and my second guesses
i allowed everyones opinions to fill the void you left
kept my eyes opened when he kissed me so i wouldnt see you
you have been my nothing for so long
yet somehow still my everything
and i want so badly to undo it
to go back to captured moments with the two of us smiling
i crave nothing but your lips
and your time
and you
so please
grab my hand and trust this one last time
jump head first into something thats already broken the both of us
and lets hope it mends the both of us
please
just give this one last chance
and i promise to love you with everything in me

Wednesday, February 28, 2018
5:43 PM

Sa panahon ngayon uminom ka ng maraming salitang "mag ingat ka".
Dahil sa mundong ginagalawan mo hindi ka sigurado.

Hindi ka tiyak sa mga makakasalubong mo at lalong hindi ka tiyak sa seguridad mo.
Tao ka lang at di imortal na may kapangyaring i time machine ang nakaraan, kung sakaling bawiin na ito.

Hindi ka mutant na kayang patigilan ang mga taong may masamang balak sayo.
At lalong hindi ka super hero para di tamaan ng mga balang hatid sayo ng mundo.

Hindi ka si superman na may kakayahang hindi makaramdam ng sakit.

Na kung sa panong paraan, hindi ko 'yon alam.

Tama na ang pagpapanggap.
Hindi kana tulad ng dating matibay.
Kasi matibay ka lang.

Hindi kana tulad ng dating malakas para sabihing kaya mo ang lahat.
Kasi kinakaya mo lang.

Para kang si joker na kahit nakasimangot may malaking ngiti parin sa labi.
Pinapaalala ko lang sayo,
hindi lahat ng tumatawa ay masaya.

Hindi kana bata para sa tuwing iiyak ka ay may handang sumaklolo para pawiin ang lungkot mo.

Hindi din mapa ang makakapagsabi ng lugar kung saan ka dapat magtungo, bagkos hanapin mo ito.
Tulad ng isang batang nawawala,
Sabik at handang tanawin ang bukas.
Hindi para tumakas kung hindi para hanapin ang lugar na magpapasaya sayo.

Hindi lahat ng tao ay totoo, iba ay balatkayo.
Hindi ako sigurado sa paghakbang mo kasama ako ay hindi ko masusugatan ang mga paa mo.

Kung ako ba ang makakapag pahilom ng sugatan **** pagkatao.
Kasi tulad mo duguan din ako.
Hindi ko 'yon masisigurado.


Kaya uulitin ko sayo,
Sa mundong ito,
Inumin mo ang salitang
"mag ingat ka".

Time of death:
3:44.
When you told me you don't love me anymore.
Place of death:
The park where we met,
on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remember the dreaded words which escaped your lips,
the heat in your words,
the look on your face,
as I took a metaphorical bullet to the chest;
it hurt like Hell.
Cause of death:
You.
When you stabbed me in the heart for the first
and last time.
A fatal blow.
But in the coroner's office,
all the report will ever show is:
time of death:
3:44.
Cause of death:
Trauma to the chest.