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Mesmerizing never described
me in any sense
of the word.

I have only ever been
sharp corners
and dark shadows;
never the light
in a room.

No one brightens
at my presence, no
I do not inflict joyful
inclinations. For I
have only ever been
the background--
only ever meant to be
in the back of rooms,
removed from the crowd,
invisible.

-db
 Jul 2021 Shattered Thoughts
Shay
I miss the little girl you used to be,
you're now just a shell of who I used to see.

Your eyes used to twinkle as you found something funny,
but now they are dead and you barely smile, honey.

You used to dream the impossible and had hope in your heart,
but I've seen the way the world broke you - now destruction is your art.

You couldn't be protected from the evil presence,
so you escape reality with the drugs that give you pleasance.

You used to cry when you grazed your knees on the floor,
but now you don't even flinch when you cut your wrists to the core.

You used to ask why people would want to die,
but now you understand all too well as you lay in bed and cry.

You used to pretend tic tacs were medicine as you popped them on your tongue,
but now you sit with hundreds of pills in your hand wondering whether life is worth it; you're only young.

You used to be full of life and enjoyed most of your days,
but now you're dead behind your mask and you're always in a daze.

He may have won the last eleven battles as you tried to end your life,
but I am telling you that you will win this war this time and above him you shall rise.

I miss the little girl you used to be,
you're now just a shell of who I used to see.
I want to

T    E    A   R

you from my heart



but the roots have grown so deep



I'm scared it would

T    E   A    R

me apart
How many nights
have you laid awake
wondering if life
will ever change?
Everybody's book
has some pages they'd rather
tear out and forget

12:02 PM
10/7/21
Dear diary;
sometimes I feel like
I am the side character
in my own
story.
The stars shine so
brightly in darkness
Reminding you to shine
no matter what
Don't lose your shine
Why do you expect
life to give back what life
has taken away?

6:29 PM
12/7/21
Time has an ugly
way of bringing out the truth
in all of our hearts

6:31 PM
12/7/21
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