Leighanna

Leighanna Oct 2019

Look up, sweet child
Your eyes are so sad
I’m sorry things had to turn out this bad

Stand up, my love
I hate to see you hurting
I know I can’t fix you, but I can show you the way

It’s dark in here, darling
Come on and take my hand
I’m not trying to rush you, but I know where this ends

Walk with me, honey
You don’t have to say a thing
I already understand the pain you’re carrying

Listen to me, baby
I promise I’m not lying
When I tell you there so much more to life than dying

This one is for you
And the pain you are fighting
As long as you’re walking then I know you are trying

Written for a friend who is struggling, but I hope this can provide a bit of hope for anyone out there having a hard time.

#sad #pain #depression #hope

Leighanna Sep 2019

melt my heart

Call me baby,
Kiss my skin.

Touch my body,
Drink me in.

Whisper my name,
Free my mind.

Lighten my soul,
Steal my breath.

Take my pain,
Heal my heart.

Wrap around me,
Keep me safe.

Say you love me,
Look in my eyes.

Show me heaven,
Make me fly.

Everything I wish someone would do to me.

#intimacy #love #adult

Leighanna Jun 2019

Fear

The fear of intimacy isn’t just a fear of ***.
It’s the fear of receiving a hug from your best friend.
It’s the fear of allowing someone to see you cry.
It’s the fear of telling someone about your past.
It’s the fear of touch from hands that aren’t your own.
It’s the fear of letting someone see you in your underwear.
It’s the fear of sharing a bed with someone.
It’s the fear of telling someone your likes and dislikes.
It’s the fear of saying I love you.
It’s the fear of letting someone know you.
It’s the fear of being vulnerable.

#fear #intimacy #anxiety

Leighanna May 2019

Another day

It’s weird being high-functioning.
It’s hard for others to see what’s wrong, sometimes it hard for ME to see what’s wrong.
I go to work, I clean my house, I cook dinner, I don’t feel much.
I experience life as a monotone melody, everyday feels like the same day on an infinite loop.
I’m here, I’m there, I’m nowhere while being everywhere
It’s not horrible, it’s not great. It just is.
It’s weird being high-functioning because I often forget I don’t have to live like this.

I’m diagnosed with major depression and anxiety along with other things but I am considered high-functioning. This may seem like a good thing but that’s not necessarily the case. Many people go through life as high-functioning without even realizing it. Being high-functioning doesn’t always mean you’re doing better, sometimes it just means you’re getting used to it.

#depression #highfunctioning #mental #illness #anxiety

Leighanna Apr 2019

Thoughts on Spring

The snow has come and gone away

Birds they fly, in nests they lay

Seasons come but rarely stay

The ice is gone from lakes and streams

Through my windows the sunlight beams

Another season, or so it seems

A short poem about the coming of spring. Part of the “Thoughts of Seasons” theme I began with my Fall poem.

#short #fall #seasons #change #thoughts

Leighanna Mar 2019

Losing

I’ve lost 5 more pounds.

“You look so good!”

With every compliment I feel heavier.

“You’ve lost so much weight!”

Tomorrow I won’t eat.

“I’m so proud of you!”

I’m so hungry.

“It looks like you’ve lost more weight..”

I did, but I won’t admit to it.

“Are you eating?”

Yes, but I won’t say how little.

“How did you do it??”

Trust me. You don’t want to know.

I struggle with Anorexia and no one knows. This poem is comprised of things I’ve had people say to me and the responses I’ve made in my mind. Everyday is a battle and everyday I lose a little more.

#anorexia #sad #depression #eating #deep #thoughts

Leighanna Mar 2019

Fair Trades

There are things I cannot remember,

There are things I cannot forget.

       To me it seems like an unfair trade.

The things I cannot remember sleep in the back of my skull,

The things I cannot forget scratch at the nerves behind my eyes.

        To me it seems like an unfair trade.

The things I cannot remember remain forgotten,

The things I cannot forget remain remembered.

        To me it seems like an unfair trade.

#forget #remember #sad #deep #memories