Nothing new, nothing good wherever i look
How many days i have to count?
How many years i have to wait?
To finally say "Yes! I did it!"

Nobody knows why I'm still here
I feel stuck but i need to move
Would my future self thank me if do everything to improve?

I have to constantly remind myself
That I'm still alive
I have to take a breath
To participate in life.

I want to write a poem
But where should I start?
Do I have to start with I
or should I end with You?

I woke up from a nightmare
Until today the past still haunts me
The trauma was still there
I can still feel how he grabs me.

I can't contain --its overwhelming
I want to feel the pain --physically,
I took a fork and burn it using a lighter
Then I press it ******* my wrist.