Young dumb and stupid
She was beautiful,  smart and exquisite.
But at the same time hurt, naive, and in love.
She gave her all to someone who didn't even know how to love himself
She learned him, changed for him, she made him her life
Only in return to receive hurt, guilt and strife
Sitting and crying ever ******* night
No exit, no escape, besides the metal of that beautiful, shining exquisite knife.
She was young dumb and stupid.
Wrong. She was young, dumb, and scared.
She gave up who she was, she gave up her life
For a man who didn't even love himself.

Last night
After years you crossed my mind
Last night, like some past few times
I found your number and wrote a message
Hey, I hope you're well.
And lots of other things I would never say in the early hours of the morning
Last night, unlike the past few times
I pressed send
I wanted you to reply then
I waited wishing
And this morning I hoped you changed your number
This morning you're a can of worms I regret trying to open
I hope my attempts were unsuccessful

We play with each other like kids in second grade
So careless, never afraid
We sleep during the day
Stay awake at night

I curl my body into yours
Like a baby in it’s mother’s womb
Like a flower that is about to bloom
Like a baby caterpillar in its shell
So protected, guarded and secured
All my illness you have cured

I have yet to be a butterfly
Soar and fly high

I feel like I’m two
Years will fly by like seconds
And each second
An eternity with you

We take naps together
So innocent like a white feather
Your love gives me strength
It calms me down and gives me faith
Like the sunlight on a cold day
I’d always say
That I don’t believe you when you say you’re gonna stay

Im hot and I'm cold
You're hot and I'm old
Don’t believe what's told
Don’t speak just hold

You give me chills
Just hold stay still
If we were to chill
I'd miss you still

Im here to stay did you forget?
I guess you're stuck with what you get
You don’t believe me?
Lets make a bet
I learned to fly
Ill teach you steps
Soar through the sky
Land in Tibet

We’re not there yet
But we wont be late
What a match like faith and fate
It sparks a fire with love and hate

I hate you but I love you
Can’t see a world without you babe
I haven’t seen you since yesterday
We’ll be here tomorrow, lets just wait

I tried for the first time,
I thought u could be mine,
But u said to wait,
And I waited with hope on my mind,
But it was too Late,
When I realized u had been lying,
After a year or two,
I thought of trying ,
Maybe i healed in time,
Maybe it can be fine,
Maybe u changed your mind,
But when I tried again,
Something u say is stuck on my mind,
Now there is no use of me crying,
I was a fool,
And wasted precious time,
Cause now  I give up,
My life has become blue,
trying,
To be with you.

Dark tracks of you follow me,
Taking the breath out of my lungs.
I choke on the thought of you;
Till my heart uplifts
To let you go.

Although you may think,
I'm Never to shed a tear for a past love;
I have shedded many
And felt unworthy of...

If you knew
How it made my heart feel
Each word of criticism
Peeling a layer of me off
leaving my soul left in the dark*
"Never to be loved for the scars of past loves."

Reality *****
it drains me out,
but and then at times
it gives strength
like a match stick
to spark flames
like a key
turning on engine
and
carries me to the summit.