In the darkness of night,
Some of the worst things happen,
Unseen.
In the darkness of night,
Some of the best things happen,
Unseen.
In the brightness of day,
Some of the best things happen,
They are ignored,
In the brightness of day,
some of the best things happen,
Only to be ignored.
NO matter where one is,
Bad things could happen,
as could good things.
No matter when something occurs,
Bad things could happen,
As could goo.
Monsters lurking on the dark,
Only to be angles in the light.
The dark or the light,
Day or night,
Things happen.
So why do we ignore them?
Why do we not see them?

My personal Hell
Is something others would be surprised at
People think it would be a place,
Bright and Happy,
With loud music and no books
Or friends.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
My personal Hell
WOuld be a pace I was abandoned at,
A place where all my failures and shortcomings
Are thrown back in my face
A place where my demons are let loose,
Where they are screaming I’m worthless
Where I have no hope.
My personal Hell is a place with nothing
I hope I never have to experience it.

Suicide,
Something that can take this pain away
Suicide,
The cowards way out
Suicide,
Something I’m too weak to do
So many ways to do it,
So many ways to die by my own hand
It’s the only way out
From the pain of everything
The pain of being bullied
The pain  of being worthless
The pain of being ME
Weather it be a blade to my wrist,
Or a noose around my neck,
Or a gun to my head,
Or a bridge 20 feet high,
Getting away from this
World would be a blessing
No one would care if I died,
No one would notice that I’m gone,
No one would do anything about it,
Just like no one prevented me.

Pieces of glass
Tears against my skin
Red running down
With my head throbbing
I’m lost
And nothing can help
I drink away my sorrows
For a hope of a better tomorrow
I smoke ***
For a hope to forget the past
I need to find my way
In this life
So I can finally
Live without strife
Kicked out for being me
Beaten for being a freak
What am I to do now?

I need to cry, but I forgot how
I need to scream, but no one will hear me
I need to feel, but I am numb
What a I to do now?
I’m in so much pain,
Yet I can do nothing to relieve it
I’m so tired i cannot sleep
I’m so hungry I cannot eat
I’m so depressed I don’t know what happiness is anymore
I just need to FEEL
But I don’t know how to do that anymore
People constantly ask how I feel
I always reply fine
When honestly
I’m tired
Numb
And sacred.
Not because of others, but of myself.
One of these days I’ll end up cracking and falling apart
Maybe when that day comes,
I’ll be able to feel again

I come to your for help
Not to be criticized
I come to you so you can alleviate my fears
Not to be told “I can’t help you”
I come to you because I acknowledge that I need you.
I’m not a basket case
Like others think
I’m not depressed
Like everyone assumes
I’m not eccentric
Like the masses believe
I admitted I needed someone to help me
But why did you say that you couldn’t?
When will I ever get help?
When will anyone ever believe me?
When will somebody start to care?
Why would I get help
If all people do is say I can’t help you
It hurts,
That people would give up so easily on me
It hurts,
That people don't think I can actually be helped
I hate it.
The feeling of despair
After another therapist
Turns me down.
Am I too broken to be helped?
Am I not worth the work?
Am I something that will forever be a failure?
I just need someone to help me
Why can’t you?

The battles I have lost,
Everyone can see.
The evidence is everywhere
On my arms,
On my legs
On my heart
On my soul.
Yet,
The battles I have won,
No one can see but me
I know I have won,
Because I don’t have a new mark
I know I have won
Because no one says anything
I know I have won
Because I don’t feel disgusted at myself
I feel happy when I win
I feel free without the voices bothering
I feel such joy from such the simplest things
But I know another battle is coming
I know there is a lower chance of me winning,
For I am already weakened from this one
These battles are slowly drowning me
These battles are slowly killing me.
I won’t be able to fight forever,
One day I’ll lose all hope
And when that day comes,
I know I have lost forever
To the demons,
The demons that won’t quit.
They invaded everywhere,
My mind
My body
My soul
My conscience
I know I should ask for help,
I know I should let someone know,
But that’s another battle altogether.
And I don’t think I’ll win it.