Where have the years gone, Days like today I wish I could turn back time.
You've grown from my baby girl to a woman now twenty nine.
Although your memories of growing up you tell were mostly sad.
I wish you would remember some of the good ones we had.
I know you see things the way you want to or or believe all you've been told .
I hope one day you understand that not everything you have been told is completely true .
I'm not claiming perfection as no human will ever be
You will understand one day baby girl you to have made mistakes no different than me.
I tried very hard to provide you and you⁴r brother some stability.
After I became very sick I lacked the ability.
Sometimes we go through this life with a blindfold to cover our eyes
When we remove it we become victom of our own demise.
You have put me down and called me names and wished me hurtful things
I have found forgiveness in my heart and pray you never feel the pain all of this brings .
I'm proud of the woman you've become and hope that one day you will see.
I'm not the terrible person you have made me out to be.
I gave you life to watch you grow and teach you right from wrong , you kept me from your life and treated me like a disease keeping my grandson from me all along .
There will come a day when you sit all alone and wish you would have let me in instead of shutting me out but by then it will be to late.
I will have left this world never feeling your love only your mean words and hate
Never forget the times I reached out to you, I needed to feel your love and know you were there.
So many times I needed you but so many times you didn't care.
I remember you telling me a long time ago that I would die alone some day
So here I am babygirl that day you spoke haunts my existence in every way

Of this world so darkened by evils, evils that taint and tarnesh all the good in it's path..
Love bares a soul that only our creator can claim, hands that heal the wounded and a heart that breaks by day.
Hidden souls that crawl from the cracks left behind to wait for the coiled serpant like powerless pray.
They walk amongst us in a field left open , to be struck by the venome  as they lay hopeless and face their death ,.
The Wounded Healer kneels beside them with hands to lay, ******* the poison,  giving them purity to rinse their veins.
The Wounded Healer now weakened by the goodness of thyne heart but expects nothing in return
Now her age upon her,  taken over the beast of I'll, not one soul of the once wounded stands before her to show they love her,  as she asks of nothing more before she goes.
Is this what I see and feel before me to be A Wounded Healer yet die with painful sadness as I lay here all alone .  
Tis true to never expect the good you rein upon God's children to rein on you in return. Keeping your heart good and love without regret for This is the Only honest love that of a wounded Healer is certain they will get

Your life hasn't been all I had hoped it would be ,
You have been to hell and back, sometimes I blame me.
But the struggles and journeys you have faced  have made you the man  you are today..
You have walked through this cold cruel world and kept your head held high, no matter what people might say.
Mistakes, indeed you have made your fair share and will make many more.
Just continue to learn from them son , keep being that guy that I adore. .
You make me proud to be your momma, no matter how people talk.
How special am I that you are my son , hand and hand we will walk.
There's no way that evil will win baby boy with me by your side and you by mine.
Back to back partner to partner no man among us will ever take our shine.
I've been told by some very good guys,
I should be very proud of the young man I raised , for his age he is very wise . .
Many Nick names you earned son some of them you fit the roll, from leo , pchyco , baby boy to " a fine young man with an old soul".

Old Man Winter was  slow this year,
Its already January , but the weather outside says spring is near.
Ironic how the times have changed as the seasons have as well.
As each year passes the seasons are getting harder to tell.
One would expect the smell of chimney smoke throughout the air..
Usually summer clothes are packed away as winter clothes are brought out to wear.
Not this year, old man winter has gotten confused,
Our days are warm and nights not cold enough for heat to be used .
Maybe next year old man winter will get it right.
For this year he failed but the warm weather is such a delite.

I am intrigued as I peer  up at the morning sky.
The sun rises with such poise as it caresses the white clouds  as it makes way to the top.
The magnificiant colors, what an array of beauty the sunrise holds  The magic of it rising begins our new day.
But for as fast as it rises , just as fast it's fading away.
Take time to wake early one morning before the sunrise is gone.
If you happen to miss it you can see it again for the sunset is just before Dawn.

The Eve of Christmas and not one gift here to see,
The First Time in my life on Christmas I haven't put up a tree.
What am I becoming, someone I don't even know.
Not a light of twinkling or even a soft glow.
Christmas has always been my favorite holliday, up until this year.
So many things have changed, ive lost my Christmas cheer.
No kids to play santa for, they are all grown.
The Holliday I once loved I now spend all alone.

Bound by this life and what it has become , Lost like the blind walk amongst a house with no walls.
Searching as high as I'm able to see, as I'm walking on the rubbel from the ground beneath me.
The reflection of a woman very familiar, someone I seem to recognize but  I have never seen, yet she follows me around even when I dream.
A familiar face looks quite like mine but it's aged by many years, her body no longer that shape like an hour Glass, her face worn with the worry of years,
Her breaths wheezing , no shine in her eyes, her smile seems to be hidden under so much pain.
The reflection of myself standing right in front of me as I stare  in disbelief,  I no longer see any beauty or feel  happiness , for my mind is no longer sane