Blade
Skin
Slice

Warm
Flowing
Blood

Dark
Silent
Thud

Scream
Sirens
Rush

"It's
Too
Late"

Calm
Quiet
Rest

They say sticks and stones may break my bones
But her words
They've cut me deeper than a belt or switch ever could
They've left their sting, their wounds, their mark
Not on flesh where any eye could see
But hidden, secretly
On my broken wounded heart
Strike by strike, their tone, their sound
I'm broken, beaten to the metaphorical ground

This 'strong-willed child'
'Stubborn' and 'determined'
Was a scared, lost little girl
In such a big, frightening world
Longing to be hugged and held
But the looming Tyrant only
Criticized and sometimes yelled

The once-bubbly child fell silent
Learned to bite her tongue
So the words don't come, that lead
To punishment and correction
The price she paid, the feeling
Of belonging and connection seemed
A worthwhile fee to find protection
Alone, isolated,
Wordless perfection

I've got monsters in my head
They say they want my life to end
I fight back, I call them enemies
But sometimes they're my allies
We share the same thoughts
Hold the same point of view
I should really call them friend

They remind me of my mistakes
They say it's the biggest part of me
I fight them on the outside
But inwardly I admit
I wholeheartedly agree

My monster friends are so kind
they offer a solution to my problem
They suggest I end it all
They give me means to do so
And assure me it's for the best
They tell me repeatedly no-one else will mind

Worn, ******, raw
The goad wounds, but she
Can't stop kicking
Breaking rules, hurting self
Desperate for freedom

Tired, scared, trapped
A sheep caught in wire
boundaries meant for protection
Frightened, she fights harder
Barbs dig deeper
She's killing herself

If she could just hold still, submit
The Sheperd would set her free
Though thorns pierce his brow

Worn, ******, raw
The whip wounds, but He
Surrenders freely

Not me, I can't
The white flag I've spent
On a blood-soaked attempt
To bandage my own wounds
Feeble waste it was
Masked, they're still there
Worn, ******, raw

I know the mirror cannot lie
Yet I hope that somehow
Just this once
It is mistaken

I pray the girl I see
Looking back at me
Is not a reflection
But a figment of imagination

Her lonely eyes
Her wilted youth
Forgotten grace
Sorrowful face

Surely that empty shell
The mere remnant of a soul
Couldn't really be
All that's left of me

They say you never leave me
I know its true, but I'm not sure I believe it

Were you honestly there as
my life flowed away
Down the drain
with the shower water?

Were you really watching as
It all grew dark and fuzzy,
When even sight and sound refused to stay?

Were you still holding me as
No one else dared sit by the side
Of my living corpse,
As even I longed to leave me?

Were you happy to keep me alive as
I fought so hard
against the life you gave me?

Thank you for staying

She carried the weight of the world
And was applauded for her strength

But the one meant to listen chose to speak
The one who spoke told lies
instead of truth

Lies that broke her trust

Shattered her heart

Crushed her soul

The weight of the world
was light as a feather
next to the weight of words,

they fell heavy as an anvil

She has a short life
She's ugly when you know her
When you really see