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  Dec 2018 Lizzie
Jess
Today is the happiest I have ever been
In my entire life
And yet,
I feel sad.
I still have this darkness inside of me,
And I still feel the need to cry
Every time I’m alone.

Why

Why can’t I just be happy
Why do I still have to feel so empty?
I don’t understand
There is nothing more I could need
My life is filled with love and joy
And I am on a righteous path
surrounded by friends
And loved more than ever before
By a boy

This boy
Is all I could have asked for
And more.
I don’t believe in soul mates
But I believe that every time I look at him
I smile
And I feel safe
And happy
And content.

So
Why

Why when I lie in bed at night
Do tears roll down my face.

Why

When I stand in the shower
I scratch at my skin.

Why

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see.

Today I realized
That this darkness that is inside
Will stay
Forever
And today
I must learn how to live
Side by side
My happy and my sad
My smile and my tears
My love and my hate
Because that’s what makes us human
And that’s what makes us
Alive.
  Dec 2018 Lizzie
Eleanor Sinclair
Do I dare say that I wish I was invisible
That people didn’t look at me and on the streets I could walk peacefully
No shady eyes or stares
Perhaps it’s my paranoia and perhaps nobody cares
The thing that gets me the most about life
Is the insurmountable amount of hype
I get it’s a gift and believe me, I’m grateful
But this distasteful existence I lead is starting to get to my head
Like the smell of cigarettes in my mothers car
No matter how far the drive I would hold my breath and hope to survive
I kind of feel like life is this way
Because despite my actions day to day I still wonder why I’m here and what is it that I walk on the street and fear
Is it the people and their perceptions
Or is it me and how I view myself
Fearful of astral projecting it onto everybody else
If they thought of me the way I think of me then holy hell what a different world this would be
I can’t understand why I float about here in space
But in case you were wondering I’m here for love and it doesn’t matter if you call me a disgrace
I think the man I’m in love with is from heaven above
And yes it’s unconventional, after all we live in to separate worlds
But he sees me for me and not my childish comments as a girl
For a second can you think what it would be like to not exist?
That’s a crisis all in itself and scientists are always ****** when you ask them what comes next in life for the dead
They can’t wrap their head around not being here
So they discount the new studies that come out every year
I don’t know what to believe and I really don’t care
Just get me away from this place so I can leave and be fine
I want to disappear like an erased pencil line
  Dec 2018 Lizzie
Luna Jay
You will never be perfect,
The words aren’t worth it.
The only gut love you have, and you cannot birth it.
I’m bottling myself inside my of skin-
Wall after wall, and the flesh is wearing thin.
Pulsing a hatred for my charred insides-
I force it down,
And wait for the thought to die.
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